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| AO Forum :: > Aggressive Actions / War Archives > Growing Unrest In Druidish Lands |
| Posted by: Druida Sep 10 2004, 02:47 PM |
| The Daily Druid DRUIDAN PRESENCE GROWS By Owen Morgan The Rogue Nation of Druida, a peaceful, yet potentially rebellious group against the governments of both NEWI and Flexsys Cefn Druids. Around fifty million people have so far declared themselves "Druidan" instead of "Druidish", and the people who are making the switch are making it in protest at their treatment by their governments. Leader of the Druidans is Trevor Smith, a former Druidish uranium miner who simply got fed up of his treatment. "The NEWI Cefn Druids government under Geraint Griffiths started out as if they were going to look after the masses, but it has just turned out like every other Druidish government in history, only interested in business and the rich, and ignoring the plight of the poor." "The Rogue Nation of Druida was originally just people from NEWI Cefn Druids, but as news of it spread to Flexsys Cefn Druids, the people there began to join us in our protest. The people from Flexsys who joined were even more eager than us to show their dissatisfaction at their government. Who would blame them? Their country has gone right down the pan in recent times." Though Druida is currently just a massive collection of people, there is such solidarity amongst them that, eventually, the "Rogue Nation" could soon have it's own lands. They have their own flag of eight coloured stripes and their own governmental structure already, and obtaining land would just be the next logical step. The only problem would be where it should be, as the Druidan nation is spread across the two Druidish countries that currently exist. But as Druida grows by the day, it could only be a matter of time before it appears on maps of Atlantian Oceania. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Sep 21 2004, 07:54 AM |
| The Daily Druid FCD GOVERNMENT IN POWER STRUGGLE DRUIDA MOVEMENT LOOKS TO MOVE IN By Owen Morgan The government of Flexsys Cefn Druids is coming under increasing pressure from an uprising by it's people that threatens to overthrow the whole government. Leader of the historical Druidish nation, Trefor Ivors, has now gone to the extreme measure of banning elections and declaring himself the leader of the nation outright. Druida leader Trevor Smith lead the outcry against Ivors. "He's got to be stopped. Firstly, he has dragged this once proud nation right into the mire, and now, it seems, he wants to keep us there." The people of Flexsys Cefn Druids definately want something to be done. "This nation can't survive under Ivors any longer," was the reaction of Trefor Geraint, one of the millions of unemployed across the country. "If we can't get rid of Ivors in the conventional way of electing him out, then we'll just have to find another way. If that means helping Druida, then so be it." Meanwhile, an independent poll carried out by The Daily Druid indicates that Ivors has an approval rating of only 14.3%, while Druida has the support of over 40% of the people. The remaining 45% or so either support other smaller splinter groups, or are simply too depressed by the state of their nation to speak. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Sep 23 2004, 07:14 AM |
| The Daily Druid GOVERNMENT OVERTHROWN!!! DRUIDA MOVE IN ON UNPOPULAR IVORS ADMINISTRATION By Owen Morgan After weeks of growing unrest, the Rogue Nation of Druida finally imposed themselves upon the government of Flexsys Cefn Druids and President Trefor Ivors. The final blow for Ivors came at around 7am yesterday, when Druidan military stormed Ivors' presidential palace. Ivors was seen leaving the building at around noon, after a brief resistance during the morning. The majority of people seemed pleased that Ivors had gone. "We couldn't stand him, especially by the end." said Trefor Llewellyn, an unemployed lumberjack. "What he did to this nation is a disgrace. Hell, any bunch of people off the street would have been better than Mr. Ivors." Flexsys Cefn Druids is now under the temporary leadership of Druida. However, the nation reamains Flexsys Cefn Druids for the time being, until the Druidan contingency plan, already drawn up by Trevor Smith and the rest of the organisations leaders, is announced in the coming days. This is expected to show that FCD will become Druida, along with the eastern side of NEWI Cefn Druids that was already partially under the control of FCD. It is also expected that Smith will become the new leader of Druida. |
| Posted by: Starblaydia Sep 24 2004, 06:07 PM |
| "So what does this mean for us, people?" the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia asked his Cabinet, with no answers forthcoming. "Do you even know who these Druida people are?" Yet more silence. "A nation, a mere stone's throw away on the other side of a lake, has had it's government overthrown and replaced by a group of extemist Druids! Why the hell did we not know about this?" "We assumed the Druid movement was a little more..." Foreign Minister Chisoko searched for the right word, "a little more sensible." "Will this obvious sensibility prevent them from doing anything else extreme?" L-POS asked, still with no reply. "Get some gunboats on excercise in the Bekk, keep an eye on them. Now go and do something productive..." |
| Posted by: Lamoni Sep 24 2004, 07:18 PM |
| While the Starblaydi government was discussing what was going on in Flexsys Cefn Druids, the Lamoni government was doing the same thing. "What do we know of these 'Druidan' people?," asked President Matt. NIA Director Johan Jorges stated: "We know that they started as an opposition group to President Ivors. Eventually, they obviously gained enough power to be able to overthrow President Ivors." "Very good, Johan. Carry on." "Yes, sir." |
| Posted by: Druida Sep 27 2004, 08:39 AM |
| THE ROGUE NATION OF DRUIDA OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE I, Trevor Smith, on behalf of the Rogue Nation of Druida and on behalf of Flexsys Cefn Druids, would like to make our plans for the future of Flexsys Cefn Druids be known. First of all, I would like to address the international community as a whole. Although we admit that the way we got here wasn't through democratic means, the truth is that we did this for the good of the people of Flexsys Cefn Druids. To prove this, we are to do exactly what we said we would do, and be only a temporary government. We promise our people, and the world, that in one month from this date, we will hold free and fair elections all across Flexsys Cefn Druids for both the Presidency and the House of Representatives. To guarantee that the election is free and fair, we would like to invite officials from the government of our neighbours NEWI Cefn Druids. OK, to many, that may well seem like a sneaky way of doing things, but you must remember that the Rogue Nation of Druida was originally set up against the NCD government, and we continue with that opinion to this day. However, there are a number of reasons why we have done what we have here in FCD, not in NCD. For a start, elections are still being held regularly in NCD, while Ivors had stopped elections here. At the next elections, we expect to have Druidans running for office in every possible location in NEWI Cefn Druids, as we will in the up coming contest here. We hope that this announcement will put everyone's minds at rest. Anyone with any questions, please get in contact with ourselves here at the Rogue Nation of Druida. |
| Posted by: Termaria Sep 27 2004, 04:23 PM |
| The defense minister remained standing as Lord Virig pondered the situation, brow furrowing and knuckles whitening. The other ministers became uneasy as the minutes stretched on, glancing nervously back and forth in anticipation. “Do it,” he snapped at long last, “I don’t trust those Druidan revolutionaries or their farcical democracy.” The defense minister handed a portfolio to one of his aids, who scurried out of the room, eager to leave the presence of his violent master. Lord Virig faced his chamber, “Get out. I need time to meditate on these new proceedings.” |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Sep 28 2004, 07:03 AM |
| "You're listening to the Cefn Broadcasting Network, time for the news at 3 o'clock with Trevor Underwood." pip...pip...pip...pip...pip...piiiiiip TU: "Good afternoon. President Geraint Griffiths confirmed today that officials from his government would be located at "every polling station and vote count across Flexsys Cefn Druids" for their up coming presidential and representative elections. Trevor McCaig has more." TM: "The request by the temporary government of Flexsys Cefn Druids, the Rogue Nation of Druida, for officials from their hated neighbours has been accepted, but is this what the Druidans wanted? Certainly, on the surface, it seems that the move, along with the accepting of the offer by the Griffiths administration is all in the name of democracy, but is that neccessarily so? "Experts believe that this could well be a Druidan plan that has backfired. Professer Trevor Ypres, Department of Politics at the University of Neodzki:" TY: "Well, what it looks like to me is that Druida were saying to the world, this must be fair, we're letting the people we hate the most in to regulate our elections if they want to, probably in the belief that they wouldn't be crazy enough to accept. But Druidish governments down the years have often shown that they don't always do the expected thing, so perhaps if this was the case, then it is a bad move by Trevor Smith and his Druidan colleagues." TM: "However, if you go into the city of Bekkvuw in eastern Flexsys Cefn Druids, for example, you can see that perhaps the Druidish experts are in fact wrong, and that the Druidan takeover is not all that they make it out, or maybe just not what they want it, to be. "The streets are as serene and peaceful as those anywhere in the world, perhaps even more so than under former President Trefor Ivors. People who lived in despair and squallor now look like they have hope, something that you would never have guessed would happen, especially considering the nature in which the takeover was conducted. Dr. Trefor Flynn of Bekkvuw College disagrees with the Druidish view: TF: "People around the world seem to think that what is going on here is a military coup, but the size of Druida tells you otherwise. The people of Flexsys Cefn Druids under Ivors only had two choices before Druida came along, either put up with the terrible quality of life they had, or get out of here. In this sense, the Druidan takeover was more a neccessary popular revolution than a minority of power hungry ruffians taking over and running the show how they want it, without concern for the people." TM: "And the Druidan revolution seems to be catching the imaginations of those who are disenfranchised with President Griffiths' policies. Latest polls by DIPDA show that Griffiths' approval rating has slumped to a low of just 46%, while Druida are doing well, scoring 21%, with their share growing all the time. It must all be worrying news for the Griffiths administration, especially as it seems likely that their neighbours could soon elect in a government that they would definately not class as an ally. Trevor McCaig, DBN News, Druid Tribune." TU: "The Druidish Underpant Elastic Stretching Authority today decided to ban wearers of boxer shorts from their society..." *At this point, our radio batteries run out, so we take them to our nearest battery throwing club.* |
| Posted by: Termaria Sep 29 2004, 11:48 AM |
| "You think this changes matters? The people of Druida may be happy; the streets may be clean and the air may be fresh, but there is still more that lies unseen. Anyone who would forcibly seize control of a government is either a zealot or a prophet, and this...Trevor Smith...are all the people in Druida named Trevor?...this Trevor Smith yet looks to fall into the former category." "But, Sir, the people are happy! Any system that encourages the happiness of all is a good one." "While it may encourage their happiness now, all new governments begun by the people are initially greeted with joy. In a year, I may rethink my stance. Until then, these Druidans are nothing more than a group of rabble rousers." Lifting his coffee to his lips, Lord Virig took a contemplative sip. "Beyond that point--which is irrelevant--the increase in military capacity on the Bekk by Starblaydia and Lamoni demands response, which we have given irrevocably." "Send a messenger to Druida, warning them that, although we acknowledge their existence, no deviation from what is right will be tolerated." |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Oct 5 2004, 09:32 AM |
| The Daily Druid DRUIDA WIN THEIR OWN ELECTION BUT IT'S ALL LEGIT, SIGH DRUIDISH OFFICIALS By Owen Morgan Trevor Smith was duly elected as President of Flexsys Cefn Druids in an election set up by his own temporary administration. However, the election was declared as "genuinely free and fair" by the NEWI Cefn Druids gowernment, who, despite this declaration, will not be best pleased with the result. The anti-Druidish group stormed to power, winning the elections for both the Presidency and the House of Representatives with clear majorities. Smith polled over 55% of all votes cast for the presidency, with former president Trefor Ivors, who also stood, coming a lowly fourth with just 7%. The full reults were as follows: Votes for President Trevor Smith (Druida): 57.5% Trefor Mellor (Flexsys Cefn Druids National Party): 23.4% Trefor Price (Socialist Party): 7.2% Trefor Ivors (Peoples Democratic Party): 6.9% Trefor Owen (Druidan Right) 3.1% Garth Llancwm (Anwir Cymru Democrats): 1.2% Others: 0.7% Seates in house (Total 137) Druida - 87 Flexsys Cefn Druids National Party - 22 Socialist Party - 11 Peoples Democratic Party - 9 Druidan Right - 4 Anwir Cymru Democrats - 2 Birthday Party - 1 Independent - 1 The results were confirmed throughout Flexsys Cefn Druids throughout the early hours of yesterday morning, while the final results were confirmed from the NEWI Cefn Druids capital Cefn by President Geraint Griffiths at 3:17pm local time, only after all scrutiny of hte results by the Druidish officials had taken place. In a speech following the announcement, Griffiths said, "We would like to congratulate Druida on aquiring their new position in Flexsys Cefn Druids, and hope that the diplomatic relations between yourselves and ourselves here in NEWI Cefn Druids will be positive and for the uniter good of the Druidish lands." However, these can only be hopes, nothing more. Druida are thought to be Griffiths' main threat in the NEWI Cefn Druids Presidential and House elections, due in a few months time. He should have enough to hold on for now, especially as the way that Druida have gotten to where they are in Flexsys Cefn Druids has put a lot of those in their northern neighbour off them. Support for Druida is also well spread across the country, so it will be more difficult for them to win a lot of seats in the House. But whether or not the Druidan support in future NEWI Cefn Druids elections will grow is open to question. The job they do in their new position in the historical Druidish land could go a long way to deciding it. |
| Posted by: Starblaydia Oct 5 2004, 12:19 PM |
| After viewing the results, the Lord-Protector of Starblaydia was said to be 'Nauseous' |
| Posted by: Lamoni Oct 10 2004, 04:45 PM |
| President Matt was said to be optimistic but cautious when he saw the election results. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Oct 15 2004, 09:16 AM |
| The Daily Druid GRIFFITHS LOOKS GOOD FOR ANOTHER TERM BUT DRUIDA VOTE WILL BE CRUCIAL By Paul Commer The results of the first ballot to decide the next President of NEWI Cefn Druids was completed yesterday, with current leader Geraint Griffiths winning convincingly due to the seemingly indecisive nature of his opponents. His nearest three opponents were all within seven electoral college votes of each other, with socialist Trevor van der Haart beating Druida's Trefor Turner and new Ludicrously Absurd leader to second place. However, Griffiths did not receive half of the Electoral College's votes, and so he will have to face van der Haart, his opponent at the last election, again in two weeks time. The full results of electoral college votes was as follows: President Geraint Griffiths (People's Democratic Party) - 112 Trevor van der Haart (Socialist party) - 74 Trefor Turner (Druida) - 69 Ryan Pieman (Ludicrously Absurd Party) - 67 Trevor Thomas (Anwir Cymru Democrats) - 27 Trefor Fielding (Flexsys Cefn Druids National Party) - 6 David David David (Druid Party) - 2 Griffiths is favourite to retain the presidency, with his significantly large advantage already, but van der Haart is expected to push him all the way, as very few Druida voters will vote for Griffiths. However, most of the other parties' supporters are expected to switch to Griffiths, so he should win comfortably. Elections were also held for seats in the Druidish House of Representatives yesterday. Because of the different electoral system used, it meant that there was a different set of results, with the socialists improving compared with Druida. However, there will have to be a coalition, one that is expected to be between the PDP and the LAP, a coalition of 188 being more than enough to go past the half mark of 179. Seats in representsatives: People's Democratic Party - 119 Socialist party - 84 Ludicrously Absurd Party - 69 Druida - 58 Anwir Cymru Democrats - 25 Flexsys Cefn Druids National Party - 2 |
| Posted by: Starblaydia Oct 15 2004, 09:34 AM |
| "Funny thing, these 'elections'" said the Lord-Protector as he sipped his drink, browsing over the news of the Druidish elections, "remind me not to implement any while I'm in charge." "Oh, of course, my Lord, just like your father, you are." "Get out." |
| Posted by: Xile Oct 15 2004, 10:23 AM |
| "So when is the last time we had an election for my office?" stated President Lauir. "Well, according to law, we do not have an election for any office until approval ratings fall below 65%. You are hovering around 80% still, and until a major opponent comes to discredit you... the only thing that could remove you from office is assassination, impeachment, or resignation." "Ah. Interesting." |
| Posted by: Lamoni Oct 15 2004, 07:01 PM |
| Looking over the latest election results from NEWI Cefn Druids, President Matt noted the coming race between Griffiths and Van der Haart. "Personally, I think that the only way that Griffiths could lose that race is if he does something dumb. I don't think that he will." President Matt stated. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Oct 28 2004, 08:14 AM |
| *we are floating on the seas of Atlantian Oceania in a little fishing boat. I know, it's a silly thing to do, but we're doing it anyway. We appear to have lost the signal from our Druidish contact, and are flicking through all the known frequencies we can when we hear the following message through the mass of interference. It wasn't in the usual Druidish tones, so forgive us if we make an error...* "...and NEWI Cefn Druids has re-elected Geraint Griffiths for another term of office ahead of Trevor van der Haart..." *at this point, the waves are bashing the side of our boat so hard, we can't hear anything else. Which begs the question, "What the hell are we doing on a boat in the first place?"* |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Nov 17 2004, 07:49 AM |
| The Daily Druid DRUIDA WIN IN EASTERN NCD PDP GRIP ON REGIONAL POWER LOOSENS By Owen Morgan The NEWI Cefn Druids elections for the 23 regional houses have shown how Druida have been making significant gains all across the country. Of course, most houses still had the same leaders, but their majorities were all reduced. It meant that the PDP still held 12 houses, the Socialist Party 9 and the Anwir Cymru Party just one. But the most significant change came in the Bekkshore region in the far east of the country, where Druida won control of the house wita a massive majority, even bigger, in fact, than the one they have in their current homeland. The win in the Bekkshore region is especially significant, as the region is already under shared rule. Currently, it is run 50% from Cefn, 25% by Druida and 25% by the regional house. However, Druida's policies in the election included a bid to make the Bekkshore region a part of their nation. As they now have 50% of the control over the area, it seems more than likely that there will be a referendum in the region over which nation they wish to be part of - NEWI Cefn Druids or Driuda. Polls show that if such an election were to take place today, Druida would win hands down and NEWI Cefn Druids would be forced, under their own terms, to annex the land to Druida. |
| Posted by: Druida Nov 18 2004, 09:40 AM |
| The Tribune Tribune Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area BEKKSHORE BECOMES DRUIDAN By Trefor Iffyl. After giving the people of Bekkshore a referendum on which nation they wish to be a part of, NEWI Cefn Druids or Druida, the voters there have voted by over three-to-one in favour of joining Druida. All in all, 78% of Bekkshorers voted in favour of the change, as opposed to just 22% wishing to stay NEWI Cefn Druidish. The results of the referendum mean that the geography of the region has changed rather significantly, http://www.savepic.com/freepicturehosting/is.php?i=291508&img=Druidish_Lands.jpg. NEWI Cefn Druids is no longer on the banks of Bekk, as Druida has expanded to take up the entire east coast. Druid Tribune, formerly under shared control despite being home of the Druidan government, is now 100% Druidan. More significantly, the result will ring alarm bells in Cefn, where a rather complacent Geraint Griffiths seemed sure that Bekkside would remain Druidish. He has basically been made too look a fool by Margaret Smith, something that not many people can say about themselves. If Druida continues growing in popularity across the Druidish Lands at this rate, then it could all end up Druidan in a matter of a few years. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Dec 7 2004, 09:44 AM |
| The Daily Druid ELECTION TIME COMING AGAIN MAIN ISSUE - NATIONAL IDENTITY By Owen Morgan In just a few months time, the people of NEWI Cefn Druids will be going to the polling stations. But this time, it is much more than choosing a government. They are, in effect, choosing who they see themselves as. On the one hand, we have the current President Geraint Griffiths of the People's Democratic Party. Despite the party's name, a large proportion of the Druidish people do not feel that the party represents them. Strong policies favouring business have always been the order of the day, largely neglecting the needs of the people. On the other hand, there is Druida. The nation of Druida, under the leadership of Margaret (previously Trevor) Smith, has grown in popularity in recent years, especially as people have watched the economic changes in the former Flexsys Cefn Druids that have led to a much narrower gap between rich and poor. Indeed, despite not having as strong an economy as themselves, the People's Republic of Druida is being seen by many as a perfect example of how life in NEWI Cefn Druids should be. However, there is one catch. Druida wish to unite the entire Druidish lands as one nation under the Druida name. However, the PDP wish to keep the nation of NEWI Cefn Druids intact, and that is their major selling point to many people. So what are the the pepole of NEWI Cefn Druids? NEWI Cefn Druidish or Druidans. The support Druida is receiving, especially amongst the heartlands of the current official opposition, Trevor van der Haart's Socialist Party, suggests that they are probably favourites right now. van der Haart himself has even pulled out of this one, making it very much a two horse race. However, many people are still proud to be NEWI Cefn Druidish, and even though they are desperate for change, they are not thought to be willing to give up their national identity. HOwever, only time, and the ballot box, will tell. |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Dec 9 2004, 10:40 AM |
| The Daily Druid FORMER MINISTER ENTERS RACE FANCD CHIEF'S PRESIDENTIAL BID EXPECTED TO AID SMITH By Owen Morgan The hopes of Druidan President Margaret Smith becoming president of a united Druidish Lands were given a boost yesterday when head of the Football Association of NEWI Cefn Druids, the Former Minister for Lost Things, threw his hat into the ring. The Former Minister is angry that Smith's plans would lead to the end of NEWI Cefn Druids, while he also opposes the pro-business policies of current President Geraint Griffiths and the backing down of Socialist candidate Trevor van der Haart. He will run as an independent. However, the Former Minister is seen by most analysts as more of a threat to Griffiths' hopes of re-election than the man he considers his main opponent, Smith. The main reason why Griffiths was thought to be in with a shout was because of his strong belief in keeping NEWI Cefn Druids, as opposed to uniting the Druidish Lands under Smith's plans. This was the main reason that many were voting for him, as they strongly opposed his policies but did not consider themselves Druidans. With the Former Minister now in the race, these are the people who seem most likely to defect. Those looking for a policiy change and willing to become Druidan are generally seen as less likely to change back to being NEWI Cefn Druidish. The Former Minister is also expected to gain votes from many football supporters across the country. However, this will again struggle to make inroads into Smith's support, as most Druidans support their adopted country anyway. And so, what seemed like a close battle for the presidency could now have been turned into a virtual walkover for Smith. And with Druida bidding to host World Cup 20 with their Starblaydi neighbours from over Bekk, many in NEWI Cefn Druids might also see the possibility of these finals in their nation as just another selling point to an already popular party. |
| Posted by: Druida Dec 12 2004, 12:03 PM |
| The Tribune Tribune Serving Druid Tribune and the surrounding area TRAGIC AIR CRASH OVER BEKK, 43 DEAD By Trefor Milford There was a tradgedy unfolding on the Bekk Lake just off Druid Tribune last night, as a plane exploded and landed in the water, killing all who were on board. It is not completely known who was on the plane, though it was one owned by the Druidan government. The search for the black box recorder of the plane is under way in order to see why exactly the plane crashed, as well as unravelling a lot of other secrets about the plane, such as who exactly was on board and where it was heading. The sad news spread rapidly across the area. The Druidan football team, who had earlier flown through the same skies on their way to another nation by the side of the Bekk Lake, Starblaydia, didn't look up for their game very much, though it also seemed to have a similar effect on their opponents, with the two nations being in such close proximity to each other. Their game, a 0-0 draw, means that Krytenia have to make up a goal difference of 7 betwee nthemselves and the rainbows to dislodge them from their qualifying berth. But, for a change, football is not what is on the mind of most Druidans right now. Instead, Druida is a nation in mourning after the shocking sights of the plane just minutes into a flight from the Druid Tribune Historical Aerodrome. Our thoughts are with the friends and relatives of those sadly departed. |
| Posted by: Druida Dec 14 2004, 08:06 AM | ||||
| Apologies to a fair few of you who won't understand this, as part of this storyline has been played out in the NS World Cup thread. So before I'll go any further, I'll update you on how we have got to where we are... President Trevor Smith originally employed a scheme in which people would change their name to Margaret to bring hte Druidan football team good luck. However, the scheme was shown to be a coimplete scam, and cost the government billions. Smith was one of just 42 Druidans to go ahead with the name change. Now Smith has another hair brained plan. Legend has it that in the far away nation of Melmond, there are some Voodoo Dice that bring luck to the holders. Smith had sent the collection of Margarets, known as the Margaret Army, to recover tham for Druida. However, as you may have just seen, this ended with catastrophic results... Anyway, back to the usual programming... *President Margaret Smith is in his office. Unexpectedly, his unnamed helper rushes in...* Unnamed helper: "Sir, sir, I've got it!" President Smith: "Got what?" Unnamed helper: "The black box recorder, sir! From the Margaret Army's flight!" President Smith: "Well why didn't you say that. Come in, let's play it back." *The unnamed helper sits down and starts playing the recording back to the president.*
President Smith: "Well, it's not very exciting, is it?" Unnamed helper: "It isn't supposed to be exciting! This isn't just some joke they've made up!" President Smith: "Oh, right. I thought you'd recorded some radio show for me." Unnamed helper: "I only told you two minutes ago!!! This is the recording from the Margaret Army plane crash!!!" President Smith: "Actually, now you mantion it, you did say something about that, didn't you?" Unnamed helper: "Mr President, it would help if you kept quiet, that's all." President Smith: "Well, you're the one that's going on!" *Unnamed helper just stares back at the president.* President Smith: "What?" *Unnamed helper points at the recorder and they continue listening*
President Smith: "So... what are we going to do now?" Unnamed helper: "What do you mean, what are we going to do?" Presidnet Smith: "About the intruder? I mean who was he?" Unnamed helper: "I don't know! Why would he say that? He's not a complete idiot, you know. Not like those other morons that were on the plane with him." President Smith: "They weren't morons! They were just committed to the cause!" Unnamed helper: "Jeez, you'll never listen, will you." President Smith: "Come on, they died for the cause! How much more committed do thye have to be?" Unnamed helper: "I don't want to go on, there's a bigger issue at stake here." President Smith: "There is?" Unnamed helper: "Yes of course there is!" Presidnet Smith: "Well, what's that, then?" Unnamed helper: "Security! Your security!" President Smith: "Uh?" Unnamed helper: "Well, why would anyone want to blow up a government plane on a mission that you had specifically sent out?" President Smith: "Er..." Unnamed helper: "To get at you, dummy!" President Smith: "Oh." Unnamed helper: "Well, either that, or they don't want our football team to do well." President Smith: "You're going to have to explain again." Unnamed helper: "Well, why were they going to Melmond in the first place?" President Smith: "For the dice." Unnamed helper: "Which were for what?" President Smith: "To help the team's results." Unnamed helper: "Exactly." President Smith: "But who would want to do that?" Unnamed helper: "I know someone. Not only might he be after you, but the football team as well..." |
| Posted by: NEWI Cefn Druids Jan 5 2005, 10:10 AM |
| The Daily Druid ELECTION DAY SPECIAL! SMITH ODDS ON FOR VICTORY Will fly into Cefn later for final rally cry. By Trevor Manley. Leader of the party of Druida and president of the People's Republic of Druida, Margaret Smith, will fly into Cefn today for the final rally of this election campaign. Smith has been reasonably quiet throughout the campaign, what with having a nation to run already, but his support across the whole of the Druidish lands is that great that he hasn't really had to do that much, his supporters have done that for him. Indeed, it is thought by some that he is travelling to Cefn more for a victory parade than a rally, but other experts suggest that the race is still close between himself and the Former Minister for Lost Things... - - - - - - - - - - - Meanwhile, on a plane somewhere above Eastern NEWI Cefn Druids... Unnamed helper: "You mean to tell me you're not at all nervous about the result?" President Smith: "Why should I be? You've seen for yourself the support I have all over the Druidish Lands. Obviously, if I'd have had more time on my hands, we would have walked it, no doubt. But we'll still win." Unnamed helper: "Oh. Well, I'm going to get a drink to staedy my nerves. Want one?" President Smith: "No. I'll be fine, thanks." *As the unnamed helper leaves for a different area of the aircraft, a shadowy figure, face covered by a balaclava, emerges from behind a chair, and creeps up on President Smith...* Shadowy figure: "Not nervous, eh? You should be." President Smith: "Why... what... uh?" *Shadowy figure pulls out a gun.* Shadowy figure: "You should know by now that it isn't safe for Druidans to fly. What a mistake. You really are as stupid as they say." President Smith: "Please... don't..." CLUNK!!! *The shadowy figue collapses on the floor* Unnamed helper: "Sir, I wondered what I should do with this empty bottle." President Smith: "You... saved..." Unnamed helper: "Well, as you always say, that's what my job is. Now to get this monster unmasked..." *They pull off the shadowy figure's balaclava, only to find...* President Smith: "Oh my god!" Unnamed helper: "Sir, you're doing it again. You're atheist, remember?" President Smith: "Sorry. But it's..." Shadowy figure: "...The Former Minister for Lost Things. I know. But it was the only way. Our only hope." *With this, the Former Minister for Lost Things grabs a parachute.* FMfLT: "But don't worry. When you tell the world, they'll never believe you. It'll make you look a fool, and I shall cruise to victory." *And with that, he opens the doors, and jumps.* President Smith: "He's right, you know. Dead right." Unnemed helper: "Don't be stupid sir. The whole thing's on the security camera up there. He hasn't got a leg to stand on!" President Smith: "He.. hasn't?" Unnamed helper: "Of course not. Come on, once we land, we'll tell the people down there, and that'll be the end for him, and the Druidan Lands will be united as one!" - - - - - - - - - - - The Daily Druid ELECTION RESULTS SPECIAL! SABOTAGE FOILED, SMITH WINS BY LANDSLIDE NEWI Cefn Druids to join Druida within the week. By Trevor Manley. A landslide victory at the polls for Margaret Smith of Druida has been the result of an eventful day in Druidish, or should we say Druidan, politics. Firstly, an attempted assassination of Smith by his main rival, the Former Minister for Lost Things, was officially confirmed by Cefn-Mawr Police. Indeed, it was confirmed that he is also under investigation for the disappearance of the Druida football team, the shooting of Trevor Kallins and the crashing of the plane of the Margaret Army. The result of this saw a sharp decline in the Former Minister's support, and he ended up in a lowly fourth place, even behind the racist Druidish Party's David David David. Outgoing President Geraint Griffiths came second, with just 18% of the vote, with Smith polling 71%. So I guess this is the end of our nation of NEWI Cefn Druids. We've had a topsy turvy history, but for the masses, teh last couple of decades hasn't exactly been the best of times, and a new start under the flag of Druida is just what the people of this nation needed. NEWI Cefn Druids is dead. Long live Druida! |