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"Are we all here? Okay, I now bring this meeting of the Grand Shura of Bettia to order. Now as we all now, we have almost completed our move into Atlantian Oceania. I assume everything's going okay?"
"On the whole, yes. But some of the Gogs are worried that the climate might be a bit warm for them."
"Now now Mr Aziz, what have I told you about calling northerners 'Gogs'?"
"Sorry Mr President sir. Anyway, apart from the bickering about the weather, the population on the whole seem fine with the relocation. By the way sir, how are your gardenias doing now?"
"Oh, the sunshine's doing them a world of good. Anyway, back to business. Now that the move is almost complete, I feel we must introduce ourselves to our new neighbours. Our national football team's foray into international competition is a good start, but we need something a little more... well, formal. After all, we can't just barge in here and expect them to welcome us with open arms, can we?"
"No of course not sir. So what did you have in mind?"
"First of all, I was thinking something along the lines of holding an official function at the presidential palace for, you know, heads of state, politicians, dignataries, diplomatic staff and the like. We could introduce ourselves, perhaps let them sample some Bettian culture and some fine local cuisine."
"Are you sure about that? Our curries are rather hot."
"Oh yes, he's got a point there. I'll get some of my staff to look into that, and perhaps get a start on the function organising front."
"Thank you Rhodri. I think a bit of Clodien hospitality is just what we need. Now onto the second point of order - diplomatic relations. I suggest we send an open letter to all nations in this region to, erm, say hello, and invite them to open diplomatic ties and exchange ambassadors with us."
"Good idea. But where could we house all the embassies?"
"What? Oh, right, embassies. Well, we have plenty of office space in the old Civic Centre where the former dictatorship had their regional headquarters, I should think that would be more than adequate. The building's there are rather opulant and are of a decent size, and security's pretty good in that area too. Mrs Bint-Zaid, could you start drawing up plans for embassy allocation, logistics and setting up their facilities?"
"I'll get right on it."
"Thank you. Now then, this letter. I was thinking something along the lines of:"
| CODE | To: <head of state> of <nation>
In the name of God, the Most Beneficient, the Most Merciful.
On behalf of the government and people of the Most Serene Republic of Bettia, I would like to thank you for the hospitality and bonhomie... |
"Bonhomie?"
"Yes, bonhomie. Goodwill. Friendliness. Geniality."
"Ah right. Carry on."
| CODE | I would like to thank you for the hospitality and bomhomie shown to us by your good selves, and would at this juncture inquire whether you would be willing to open diplomatic relations with us as I feel this would be a very beneficial move for our two nations, and would also help to strengthen our ties with the nations of Atlanian Oceania. I feel that this would enable us to develop close co-operation on any political issues that may arise and to enhance international relationships based on mutual support.
I very much look forward to receiving your response.
With the best regards
On behalf of the Most Serene Republic of Bettia
President Amir Brooks |
"Sounds good to me."
"Well, if everyone here is in agreement, I shall inform our Foreign Office to circulate this at once. Now onto the final point on today's agenda - international trade. Any ideas? Mr Nagoro."
"Thank you sir. As you may all know, I have been asked to consult with the Trade Council of Banastra as to how we could announce our prescene on the regional and international trade scene, and we have decided that some sort of trade fair is in order. This will enable foreign delegates to see for themselves what Bettia has to offer, as well as allowing foreign companies to dip their toes in the Bettian markets. I feel our IT sector in particular may be of some outside interest, and I for one am intrigued by this 'hing' that Nedalia is producing. Another point of interest could be television rights to domestic competitions, particularly the Bettia First Division which is due to begin after the World Cup. perhaps if we could attract some sponsors, and maybe a foreign player or two, that will help us in many ways."
"Nice one. Well, if there are no more matters to be discussed, I'll bring this meeting to an end. Thank you for your time."
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To the Leaders of Bettia,
May we be the first to welcome you to the AO region, and let me reassure, there are no hard feelings for ejecting us from the BoF Cup! We already recognize what an important player Bettia is sure to become on the AO stage, and would like to set up official diplomatic relations with your fine nation as soon as you see amicable. Our delegation team, which would be led by future ambassador Hassan Candle, is already on call, only awaitinyg your final approval before we dispatch them to Bettia. We have also set up an embassy for you on Shorelane Boulevard, in our most prestigious of neighborhoods in Kafra. And dont you worry about the curry, indeed, our local cuisine is filled with spicy dishes!
President Bren would also like to take this opportunity to invite the leader of your fine country to visit Nedalia, and would like to repay the visit with one of his own to Bettia. Ofcourse, details and iteniraries will be worked out upon agreement. We await your kind reply.
Dewars Strand
Minister of Foreign Affairs
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Nedalia |
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Emperor in Training |
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Sexy Nadia entered the NEC-Confederence Room wearing tight bluew jeans and a stomack-free T-Shirt saying “Latin Girl!” on her chest:
Hey Führer, the Foreign Ministry received an open letter telegram from a recently formed nation in Oceania named Bettia.
Asides other things, they offer exclusive broadcasting rights for their domestic sporting events – I thought that could be interesting for you, since you own the shmoo network.
Oh and it’s of course also highly valuable for Latao!
It is a common fact that the member of the National Executive Committee cherish highly personal and friendly relations internally and that the Federal President sometimes is referred to as ‘Führer’.
The NEC-President read the telegram and agreed that diplomatic relations and talks regarding the broadcasting rights should be initiated these days.
When Miss Pumia studied the official literature available on the nation of Bettia, she found that this is an Islamic country…
[i]hmh…I probably have to wear something conservative when representing the Confederacy there, maybe they don’t even allow females representatives there…]
However, the following official reply was given to the officials of Bettia:
| CODE |
Appreciated Leaders of Bettia
The Confederacy of Latao received your open letter telegram and is highly interested in starting diplomatic contacts with you, as well as talks regarding the broadcasting rights of Bettia’s domestic sporting events.
This would open interesting market chances, as Latao’s favorite broadcasting company - the 'shmoo network' is run by the Federal President, Roger Omsec.
Latao, as one of the top leaders and a global economic powerhouse of the region, we might have many things to offer, including a large spanning network of international relations, which bring benefits to both nations.
We plan, that our Foreign Minister, Miss Nadia Pumia officially represents Latao if you agree with that.
Signed
National Executive Committee of the Confederacy of Latao
|
After all seven member of the NEC signed the telegram; Nadia submitted it to one of her employees to finally send it over to Bettia.
As it was a hard day, the Federal President stepped into his BMW M3 Convertible and drove to the beach bar where uses to have some evening-beers.
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President Brooks,
First of all may I welcome you on behalf of our Lord-Protector, Starblaydia, the Strategic Alliance of Autocratic States and the whole of Atlantian Oceania itself.
May I also take this oppurtunity to congratulate the Bettian national team on their performances so far in Group 5 of the 22nd World Cup Qualifiers.
We would like to offer you a full embassy exchange program and place a new Bettian embassy in our nation's captial city, Jhanna.
On behalf of the Lord Protector of Starblaydia, I remain,
Lord Ricardo Gomez,
Communications Minister,
Protectorate of Starblaydia.
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Interim-president Tiresan scratched his head.
"What the hell is bomhomie, Skylar?"
Skylar Avarice, the quite-a-bit-jumpier official ambassador to the Regional Council jumped a bit at the sound of the president's voice.
"I'm not exactly sure sir, something like happy? Goodwill? I dunno..." he sputtered while taking another sip from Tiresan's private store of Starblaydi vodka. He coughed a bit, and then looked to the rest of the leader's collection. The Abattoiran whiskey with the tell-tale label of the penguin caught his attention. He slowly pulled it out of the case and began to slip it into his coat...
"What are you doing, Skylar? Have you lost it?" Karl barked.
Skylar jumped and quickly stuffed the bottle back in the liquor case and stuttered "S..S...Sorry sorry sir, it's just been a while since I've had any and"
"Good God, Skylar! Just take it! Think of it as payment. I want you to contact these Bettia people and let them know of your intention to attend their little diplomatic function. I expect you to reperesent your nation like a MAN Skylar, so get over your little nervous ticks." Karl Tiresan walked out of the room, leaving Skylar to his whiskey.
Skylar gulped, and grabbed the phone. |
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Punch-Drunk Psychosis |
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"So Bettia's joined the region now"
"Oh yea, another one of the Baptism of Fire Cup connections huh?"
"Baptism of Fire Cup Connections?"
"Yea, You know, teams that play the Baptism of Fire Cup in Vilita, then join Atlantian Oceania afterwards..."
"What do you mean, sir?"
"Aquiliana, Legalese, Fmjphoenix, South Osettia, Nedalia, Bettia - Can I be any more obvious?"
"Sorry Sir."
"And why does Latao ask about a new flag, and then keep flying that scrawny old thing, has anyone made them a new flag yet?"
"No Sir, they haven't specified what they want, just that they were looking for a flag."
"Well then, send them a towel, and tell them to fly it."
"Yes, sir." |
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From: President Dean C. Willis <dwillis@exec.gov.bd>
To: President Amir Brooks
On behalf of the people of the Grand Dominion of Bedistan, we welcome you and your nation to Atlantian Oceania. It is always good to see nations involved in international affairs, particularly sporting-related ones, take the opportunity to come together as we do in this region.
My intelligence tells me that the Bettian people are settling the land to our south. We greatly appreciate the opportunity of having new neighbors once again, and hope that peace will forever reign along our border. If you or your people need any help setting up shop here, please feel free to contact us.
_____
Dean Willis
President of the Grand Dominion of Bedistan |
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From the Office of The First Archon of The Dominion of Khazaron
Greetings,
On behalf of the people of Khazaron we would like to extend our welcome to your people into the region. While our resources are not much, we would like to extend whatever help we could give. Let us know if there is anything we can do.
Signed,
First Archon James Khara |
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"Wow, we've had a good response so far."
"Yes, looks like we're going to be busy. I'd better tell the contractors working on the embassy refurbishment works to hurry up."
"Good, but before you do do that, could you just jot these telegrams down and send them out to the relevant people please?"
| CODE | Mr Strand, Nedalian Ministry of Foreign Affairs:
Thank you for your kind response (and lack of bitterness). We would be very happy to receive your Mr Candle as soon as refurbishments to the diplomatic quarter are complete, and we shall be dispatching our own diplomatic staff to the facilites you have kindly provided as soon as possible with your approval. President Brooks will be very happy to visit Nedalia in the very near future, perhaps as part of a wider regional tour. |
| CODE | NEC of Latao:
Thank you for your kind response, and for the interest shown in broadcasting rights for the Bettian Football League - we shall forward your proposals to the relevant party. As for your concerns over sending a female representative, we shall be very happy to welcome Mrs Pumia. Indeed, we have a woman on our Grand Shura (Mrs Anna Bint-Zaid, one of two representative fromm the western region of Maghrib), along many women on our elected regional councils. Bettian women are also highly valued in medicine, with female doctors in certain fields of practice commanding higher salaries than their male counterparts due to demand. |
| CODE | Lord Gomez of Starblaydia:
Thank you for your kind response. I trust your delegation enjoyed yesterday's World Cup match between our two teams (shame about the result :) ). We would be very happy to welcome your ambassador to our nation as soon as the diplomatic quarter is up and running, and we shall begin arrangements to send diplomatic staff to your capital city with your approval. |
| CODE | Mr Skylar, Regional Council of Xile:
Thank you for phone call. BOO! Heh, just kidding. Seriously though, we'd be very happy to welcome you to our function and to open dispolomatic ties with yourselves. You can bring your own alcohol if you want but please don't offer any to us, we'll just stick to fruit juice. |
| CODE | President Stone of Lamoni:
Thank you for your kind response. I'm glad to see our footballing credentials have put us in good stead with yourselves, and indeed many others within this region. Hopefully we'll perform better in the AOFAC than we are in the WC. We are very happy to accept your offer of embassy space in Nephi, and we shall reciprocate that with embassy space within our captial Gabalfa as soon as we are able to. I shall also be very happy to make an official visit to your nation in the near future, and look forward to welcoming you here. |
| CODE | President Willis of Bedistan:
Thank you for your kind response. I tried to email you but the message got returned to me saying 'unknown address'. I probably typed it in wrong, so I'll respond in the old-fashioned way. We are indeed intending to settle in the south of AO, although this has yet to be confirmed. We gratefully appreciate your offer of assistance, and we shall be very happy to do likewise if the need ever arises. May peace reign along our borders, and throughout the region. |
| CODE | First Archon Khara of Khazaron:
Thank you for your kind response. We appreciate your kind welcome, and very much look to opening diplomatic ties with yourselves. |
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We don't do defence |
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"Sir, good news. The embassies on Civic Square are ready."
"Ooh, it's about blimmin' time. How are they?"
"Very smart. We got some of the top architects in the country to revamp them. They're all, like, individual. We've allocated some of them to the nations that said they want one. Look, here's a map."
"Heh, very posh. Is that an official map?"
"Yes, it's official... well, official in the sense that I whipped it up on my PC last night."
"Very good. Oh hang on. Is it a good idea to put the Starblaydi and Lamoni embassies next to each other?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well, according to Nedalian journo, they were having a spot of bother."
"Hey, if we can act as peacemakers and stop this feuding, that's all good. I just been informed by our Armed Forces Commander that we've applied to join the AORDO. It's about time we got more involved. Now then, lets have another look at this map. Aww, I can't see my house." |
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Bettia |
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We don't do defence |
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Posts: 956 |
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"Sir, good news. The embassies on Civic Square are ready."
"Ooh, it's about blimmin' time. How are they?"
"Very smart. We got some of the top architects in the country to revamp them. They're all, like, individual. We've allocated some of them to the nations that said they want one. Look, here's a map."
"Heh, very posh. Is that an official map?"
"Yes, it's official... well, official in the sense that I whipped it up on my PC last night."
"Very good. Oh hang on. Is it a good idea to put the Starblaydi and Lamoni embassies next to each other?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well, according to a Nedalian journo, they were having a spot of bother."
"Hey, if we can act as peacemakers and stop this feuding, that's all good. I just been informed by our Armed Forces Commander that we've applied to join the AORDO. It's about time we got more involved. Now then, lets have another look at this map. Aww, I can't see my house." |
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Bettia |
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We don't do defence |
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Posts: 956 |
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Abattoir is interesting in opening an embassy in your esteemed nation. You will also be more than welcome to staff an embassy building in our capital of Lavingrad. |
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We'd be more than happy to welcome our UN Delegate. We trust 7 Civic Square (next to the Khazron embassy) will be acceptable.
We are also hoping to finalise our list of ambassors in the next day or so. |
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Bettia |
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We don't do defence |
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