Police on And Island are calling for calm as gang-related crime has had a sudden spike. Bikie Gangs in particular have had a major increase in the numbers of incidents of oowies, owchies and boo-boos.
These bikie gangs are commonly seen around Sid-on-sea as coincidently that’s where most of the young families are but police are concerned that there may be more going on under the surface than may be apparent from initial view furthermore in related gang violence the ongoing gang war between keep left and keep right signs have hit a milestone with the 20th casualty
The victim was a Keep Left sign gun down in an alleyway at 1:30 this morning in Ossiclaw, police expect a continuatgion of the war and reprisal attacks. Attempts at mediating this dispute has failed as neither Keep Left or Keep Right signs have any vocal chords. And as such we have no idea what started this war, what’s it about, nor when it will end. Residents of And Island are recommended to stay inside the car until parked in a driveway or within the lines of a car park. Do not, we repeat, do not get out of your car on the road nor park on the side of the road unless it is unavoidable.
This has been Pierce Brosnan wondering how I got stuck in this crappy job. Goodnight.