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Delaclava's Discovery Story
Posted: Apr 11 2010, 08:14 AM
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It was almost done. After a five-month exploit, Delaclava was ready to break free and find a new region. It involved breaking itself off from the other countries, using - believe or not - ice picks and shovels.

"Okay, everyone, put some backs into it! We're almost done!" James Leppert said. Leppert, along with Cal Mitchell, was the undisputed leader of this expedition. The two had represented Delaclava at the Olympics in sailing, and had discovered many land forms that became Delaclav territories. Although they didn't know it at the time, they would go on to win Schuermann Awards for their work.

"But sir, why are we moving?" someone suddenly shouted. The question suddenly stung the air: Why was Delaclava moving?

"Have a seat, and James and I will tell you," Cal said, as he strode over to slam the pick into the ground one last time, which freed the eastern border from the rest of Ohio, and suddenly Delaclava was drifting away. People started to scream, but Cal said, "It's okay, this is supposed to happen. You won't feel it that much, and if it helps you can turn away from the water."

A few people still stared apprehensively, but James added, "We've got rescue boats if anyone happens to fall in. We won't lose a single person on this ride today."

That started to calm people down, and they listened attentively as James told the story. "It wasn't an easy decision for the President, you know. As many of you are aware of, Delaclava was the Regional Crier of the region, which meant that a representative was working on crafting Ohio's image to the rest of the world. You can see how that's pretty ironic," he added, which got everyone laughing.

"So then, why the move?" a woman asked.

"We feel that not much happens in Ohio as a region as we'd like," Cal said. "Meanwhile, Atlantian Oceania - full of life, sports, culture, diplomacy! It's a great region, I've heard."

"Atlantian Oceania?" the same woman asked.

"It's the region we're moving too. Starblaydia? Krytenia? Valanora? Sarzonia? Cafundeu? Bettia? You've heard of all those nations?" Everyone had. "They're all there. It's very notable."

After a bit of silence, another woman asked, "Isn't this also what we said about Ohio when we were moving from Signature Sports?"

"Anything would have looked great from that dunghole, even if we were WA Delegate for a bit," a man said, barely able to say the last part because everyone was roaring with laughter.

A few hours went by, and people were picnicking, telling stories, playing games. Children were shouting and laughing, adults were happy too. Everyone had avoided the waters so far. Then, someone suddenly thought to ask, "What's happening to the ground?"

Everyone suddenly realized that the ground seemed like it was made of gel.

"Yes," Cal said, "we knew this would happen. This generally happens when nations move to other regions. It lets them better adapt to the landforms of the region, and we've got our eyes on a good area. Good size, good location. Once we've adapted, this will all harden into what it was before we moved."

"Wait," another man asked. "Did you say that nations do this thing a lot?"

"Yes, they do," Cal said. "Remember those migrating animal nations that came and left Delaclava? Then they left all the geese poop?"

Everyone was giggling and laughing now. "That's what got Delaclava their Regional Medal of Honor."

"What did?" a child asked.

"Cleaning up the poop," Cal said, not even being able to keep a straight face.

Laughing, everyone went back to the partying and frolicing. Until someone then shouted, "Uh, is anything happening?"

People were confused. The man said, "I mean, as we're moving along, is the government still working? Business? Commerce? All of that?"

"It's not a bad question," Leppert said. "In fact, the only things not running today are ships and planes. The harbors and the airports are closed, but otherwise it's just a normal day in Delaclava."

The irony of this was obvious. It was, in fact, not a normal day. This was a move that could change the course of Delaclav history. Maybe there was some country they'd have a good alliance with someday. They'd never really had that in Ohio or Signature Sports.

Leppert was talking into a walkie-talkie, nodding and discussing something. Suddenly, Delaclava stopped moving. The people were confused, and asked, "Are we there yet?"

"The President is on the western border, and he's informed us that we're touching the edge of the landmass we want to occupy." Taking out his map and monocle, he said, "Landmass 3, bordered by Sarzonia from the north and Falcania from the south. A great spot," he said, folding away the map and taking out the monocle.

"So are we on the landform?" a woman asked.

"Not yet," James said. "We're just touching it, but we're asking permission from the other AO nations to occupy the spot. It's common international courtesy."

All the way over on the west coast, the President stood right on the shore, backed by his staff. Behind them were thousands of people, chanting, "Let us in! Let us in!"

The President smiled at the patriotism and enthusiasm of the citizens. He thought, this will be a great day for Delaclava...if they just let us in.
Delaclava
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Posted: Jul 21 2010, 06:51 PM
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Yoknapatawha, Pine Forest -

Yoknapatawha was as far west as you could get on Pine Forest's Koskiusko Peninsula, so far west and unimportant that they didn't even get a mention on the maps of the country. The town, however had come to prominence ten years ago as the epicenter of what was known as the “Rosengardian strain” of mass hallucination as people of the peninsula spread the falsity of there being a new country just two hundred miles off the western coast. The people believed that there was a country known as Rosengarde applying to live in the area of land to their west. Before normality could be resumed, nearly sixty million people had falsely believed that Monarchy of the Diamond Sword actually existed, and millions of dollars were spent sending diplomatic envoys and a naval fleet to a barren stretch of beach.

“This is Arrozan Broadcasting Channel 5, your home for sports. I'm Antonio Royal and this is Around the Vuvuzela <static> ...pop hiss crackle.”

The channel was interrupted by advertisements for used car lots, in some place called Delaclava? More importantly, they were having a “To Hell With Ohio Sale”, not really a great inducement for anyone from Arroza, especially since no one in the island country knew where or exactly what an Ohio was. Some of the oldest residents remembered tales from their Grandparents of a mythical place of “Ohiyo”, as being a frozen wasteland filled with arrogant monsters known as “damnyankees”.

Embassy Hex – Atalanta

“Not this crap again.” moaned Ryan Irontree, recently re-instated minister of Foreign Affairs. He had lost his position over the Rosengardian Affair as it was known, but reinstated after the even larger mass hallucinations of divine intervention, and the destruction of the islands had hit everyone. In short, everyone was deemed insane, so no one had the credentials to challenge his re-instatement as minister. Now another supposed country was intruding on the private space of Arroza. And as if to add personal insult to injury, the reports of strange people and electronic signals was coming from the same area as before. Approximately one to two hundred miles due west of the far western end of the country. It was an anomaly that looked amazingly like the one that had gripped the country in panic years ago.

“Megan. I'm going out on vacation, I think my mind is breaking down a bit.” The rational result of the mass hallucination crisis was a very relaxed policy towards down time, and vacations for people in stressful positions. “Send word to the Prime Minister to coordinate efforts about the Delaclavans to Sub-Minister Linkway. I've already ordered her to get people on the ground in Far West county. They should be meeting in Yoknapatawha and reporting within 48 hours. The key is to take it slow, not over-react like last time. I'm going somewhere far away like Fountain or Leon de Pascua on the other end of the isles. If someone tries to call me, tell them I'm shark fishing.”

Meanwhile...off the Arrozan coast.

The work week was over, and the great idea that the boys had back at the bar was turning out to be a not so good idea. Since the signals for the Delaclavans had come in, people had been passing them off as hallucinations, except for the few hardcore gridiron fans, who saw the intrusion of Deleclava as a new threat to their dominance of Southeast Atlantian Oceania. Never mind that both Sarzonia and Bluth Corporation to their north well well up the standings from them, the drunken post-teens saw it as a opportunity to restore some much needed national pride. So as the beers flowed, the great idea came to someone. “We oughta go over there and see what's going on, maybe play some ball, hook up with some foreign women”. So the tiny boats tossed and turned, on the pitching sea until unceremoniously bouncing into the gel like shore of Delaclava. Jumping off the jiggling boats onto the jiggling shore, the louts that unceremoniously made up the first contact group wandered down to the nearest bar, looking to get drunk and knock some heads together.
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