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The Daily Druid
MYSTERY MISSISLE HITS NEODZKI
By Trevor O'Connellio
The people of Neodzki in the New Europan region of Druida were left puzzled last night as a giant orange ball fell out of the sky and landed in one of it's suburbs, San Besinki. The mystery object crushed over 30 homes, and caused an earth tremor felt as far away as the Northern Lowland Clans.
All in all, 100 people were killed directly by the mystery missile, which struck in the early hours of the morning. Many more were injured in the ensuing panic and from the earth tremors.
Scientists are now trying to work out what the hell happened. They are testing the area to see what exactly the ball is mabe of and where exactly it has come from. |
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The Daily Druid
BALL IS RUBBER - GREATER CONFUSION ENSUES
By Trevor O'Connellio
The Druidan scientists investigating the Neodzki Missile Incident have officially declared that the giant orange ball that caused such widespread devastation was made out of ordinary rubber.
This has confused the people of Neodzki even more. Where would such a huge rubber ball have come from? Outer space? Pirates? Xile? And why would it land in Neodzki? Druida is generally such a peaceful nation. And why rubber? It makes it bouncy, for pity's sake! Surely something intended to cause destrusction would be made from some kind of radioactive material, or at least something hard?
The mystery deepens...
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The Daily Druid - Sunday Colour Supplement
MEGA-EXTREME SPORT SHOT INTO LIMELIGHT, CRASHES BACK TO EARTH
A Special Investigation By Michael Corley, SCB:Sports
After the deaths of one hundred people earlier in the week, the new wave of Mega-Extreme sports has been thrust into the public eye, wiggled around for extra measure and then ripped back out again.
'Dodgeball: Goliath' is the new sport, though those who have an aversion to colons in titles call it just 'Goliath Dodgeball'. Here's how you play. Forget about the two teams in a court throwing and catching balls at each other, this is ballistics on a whole new scale.
Your team has to consist of enough engineers to be able to construct a giant cannon and load these enormous orange rubber balls into them. You then have to aim and fire at an opposing team's cannon and knock it out of commission. This game was started by a combination of Vilitan loonies, Druidan mentalists and Britannican crazies. Those with Engineering degrees and a semi-sporting deathwish are invited to join in, though the 'NIMBC' problem (Not-In-My-Back-Contintent) facing Dodgeball: Goliath may force it out of business except in the more-eccentric nations of our Region. |
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Krytenia certainly has a few ballistic experts, gleaned from the Fatwah after the mass arrests a few months back, and would like to be sent an official rulebook (if such a thing exists) forthwith.
We believe the brainwa - er, "rehabilitation" has gone well, however advise President Tiresen to provide hard hats for his people, just in case. |
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Now With Added Bekk! |
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