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Posted by: Bettia Nov 25 2005, 11:06 AM

AOCAF XI Mascot Unveiled As part of the AOCAF XI build-up, the FAB have been running a competition for schoolchildren to design a lucky mascot for the tournament. FAB chairman Islwyn Forbes told the Enlightener "We quite literally had more than one entry, the response has been fantastic. Quite a few of them were aroras, but we felt that despite being our national creature-thingy, the arora just isn't anthropomorphic enough. They're damn ugly too." The winner was Marifah Powell, aged 8 from Southward Ho! She told us how she arrived at her design. "Well, I was just surfing t'interweb looking for ideas, and I spotted this tattoo on an auction site, so I saved a copy, traced over it, coloured it in and stuck a Bettia shirt on him. He's called Dinki. Dinki the Dragon. Cool huh?" Hundreds of items of Dinki-related merchadise are already flooding the streets of Bettia - t-shirts, caps, stickers, stuffed toys... but no tattoos. AOCAF XI Group Draw It was announced today that the group draw for AOCAF XI will be made live on #sport at irc.esper.net tomorrow, Saturday 26th November, at 9pm GMT. Signups will close at 8pm.

Posted by: Nedalia Nov 26 2005, 09:59 PM

Crystilakere Nedalia Fmjphoenix Spruitland Milchama KAFRA, NEDALIA - After getting over yet another Starblaydi heartbreak in AOCAF 10, the Lions will also be looking to put the disappointment of their World Cup qualifying campaign behind them as they look to get back to the Finals of the premier regional competition in NS. This time, however, the stakes have been raised. Its no secret that the Nedalian FA were disappointed with the 4th place finish in Group 9 of the World Cup qualifying stages, and manager Randy Gamman, the only manager the Lions have ever had, bore the brunt of the blame. With rumors about possible replacements popping up everyday, a disappointing display in the AOCAF tournament will surely signal the end of Gamman's reign as the national manager, which is not something the players are looking forward to. Given the fact that team didnt make WC25, the first squad is available to play in AOCAF 11, although when the Cup of Harmony starts, the question of fatigue will definitely come into play. For now, however, the players will be focused on fighting for their beloved manager's job. They have been given a good start by a fairly easy group, with the first game coming against Milchama, one that should start the flamboyant Lions squad on the right track.

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Nov 27 2005, 12:17 AM

The people of Andossa Se Mitrin Vega were pleased today when news of the AOCAF XI mascot was unveiled. Even though the dragon, Dinki, was apparently wearing the wrong colors, fans here hope that Dinki will bring luck to their Sea Dragons. And it looks as if they will need it: Group 2 Starblaydia Sarzonia Lamoni The Lowland Clans Nojika Andossa Se Mitrin Vega This will be a tough group for the Sea Dragons. Hope is that they can manage better than the WC25 squad that struggled through their first eleven matches before performing well down the stretch. ASMV will be unveiling their new "Tidal Surge" style here in AOCAF XI. This new style came about due to several reasons. Primary reason for the change was a lack of "star" quality players as football is just beginning to take root in ASMV. Tidal Surge will make use of the talent they have by using what they have labeled as transition players. Dt is one position in which the player is a solid defender and at least an average midfielder. This will allow smoother flow in transition from defense to attack. Mt is the other, a solid midfielder with some striker ability. The basic 5-3-2 will still be the standard set, but Tidal Surge will allow the team to shift into a 3-5-2 or 3-3-4 (and anything in between) as certain situations arise. Hopes are that this will make the team more of a threat as the match ebbs and flows. We will get our first peek at it against Starblaydia. I am certain that we will be on the outside looking in again, but there is always the chance for miracles.

Posted by: Starblaydia Nov 27 2005, 07:44 AM

Starblaydia Looking for Title Number 5 Group 2 is a Right Political Mess If you put representatives of these six nations drawn in Group Two into a locked room, you'd probably end up with a fight. We can have an insight into the deeper meanings behind this Group with our 'expert', Genkuro Addimatzi: 'From a patriotic Starblaydi's point-of-view, this Group is one to win, and win well. Two of the major regional powers - in both Football and Politics - along with one blithering upstart, one youthful newcomer, and one silent, ancient neighbour. Starblaydia and Sarzonia aresurely the teams destined for the top two places, in that order. Witness the solid, boring play of the Sarzonians, fed to their masses as 'exciting' football. True, they have won a World Cup against the worst other team ever to reach a Final, but the AOCAF has always been a 'so near, yet so far' experience for the Stars' second team. Beyond the cream of the crop is usually the crap, so it is with the Stars. Starblaydia, on the other hand, simply have cream. Behind a top-ten-in-the-world Squad comes a 'second' team that most World Cup nations would give their right arm for. Starblaydia's AOCAF programme has yeilded a record-equalling four Championships and two Runners-Up places in nine attempts. Add to that the best-managed and longest-running Under-21 programme in the world, never mind the Dodgeball, Futsal, Ice Hockey or Rugby Union teams, and Starblaydia have a claim to be the greatest all-round sporting nation in the world today. Compare that with the third team in the Group, the sprawling nation of Lamoni, and you see the differences. One attempt at World Cup qualification, several attempts at the AOCAF with nothing but a solitary third place some sixteen years ago. With over five billion people who can't go out and buy ordinary shoes, let alone football boots, thanks to their 100% income tax rate, its no wonder that their team is awful. The government, however, did use their taxpayers' money to purchase a kit design from http://ns.goobergunch.net/wiki/index.php/Ediraf some thirty years ago. Anyone remember Matthew Bostock? Didn't think so. Two other nations with interest for Starblaydia are The Lowland Clans and Nojika. Our Clannish neighbours have always been there or thereabouts when it comes to World Cup Qualification, but their AOCAF experience is generally rather poor. Allies Nojika, on the other hand, have always threatened to get something started on the Regional Football front, but nothing has materialised yet. Should they be able to leap the Clans or even Lamoni in the Group, that could be the spark for a drive to the next level. Finally our new neighbours, who can thankfully shorten their nation's name to 'ASMV'. With a notable performance in the Baptism of Fire and an unlucky run in the World Cup 25 Qualifiers, the newcomers are looking for a base from which to build a solid foundation for years to come. The overall result? Starblaydia to win it all. Again. Of course. Genkuro Addimatzi is the Chairman of the 'Laughing At Democratic Foreigner Footballers Association'. For more information, check out lamonisux.org. Be warned, we will be tracking your IP.

Posted by: Hypocria Nov 27 2005, 12:31 PM

AOCAF XI - Preview It’s that time again, when the finest football playing nations of the region dust of their not quite finest footballers to compete for regional bragging rights. Hypocria’s AOCAF coach Gregory Vidal has made the brief trip to Bettia with a combination of players who played regularly in the World Cup qualifiers and those hw are looking to establish themselves in the national side. Head coach Dave Wilson will take charge of the nation’s Cup of Harmony campaign but until that starts he too will be in Bettia overseeing team affairs. The Hyppos have been drawn in Group 3 and are off to the city of Lorshill for their first three group games but who are the opposition? Vilita Had to be didn’t it? This will be Hypocria’s third outing in the AOCAF and it will also be the third time they’ve faced Vilita. It will probably be the third time the Hyppos have lost to the Jungle Cats too as the two time regional champions stroll into the quarter finals. Krytenia Sixth ranked Krytenia will most likely be Vilita’s closest challenges for the top spot in the group. Hypocria and Krytenia have never played each over before and after comments made in the Krytenian media about the calibre of Hypocria’s national side the Hyppos may have a point to prove. Hockey Canada The Canucks have qualified for the World Cup finals for the first time but do they have the strength in depth to compete on two fronts? Hockey Canada qualified from their group in their debut tournament four years ago and will fancy their chances of doing so again. With just 0.58 ranking points between the Hyppos and Canucks the opening game between the sides will be crucial. Chacor Chacor have never really made an impact in the AOCAF and look set for another disappointing campaign. Pastorville Like all debutants Pastorville are something of an unknown quantity. We know exactly what an impact debutants can make after Hypocria went all the way to the final in their first tournament. But with Vilita up first they will have to find their feet quickly. Best of the Rest Group 1 They have never made much impact in this competition but with home advantage the Aroras may fancy their chances in a group with four other World Cup finalists. With Druida in turmoil and with Bedistan and Turori lacking the best of records in the AOCAF the yellow and green hordes could have something to sing about. Group 2 Looks very much like a three horse race. The Purple Peril will be challenged by Sarzonia for top spot but should still ease into the quarters, followed by the Stars and Lamoni. But keep an eye open for those Sea Dragons. Group 4 After a disappointing World Cup campaign expect the Lions of Nedalia to roar into the quarter finals ahead of the attacking flair of Fmjphoenix. The Crystils will be shattered in the end as the Spuitland Wabbits hop into third. And the Winner is . . . Starblaydia are the obvious choice (they certainly think so) but don’t rule out Nedalia.

Posted by: Lamoni Nov 27 2005, 04:50 PM

Hawks ready to rumble It looks like the Hawks have been placed into a very 'interesting' group this AOCAF. The group consists of: Starblaydia Sarzonia Lamoni The Lowland Clans Nojika Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Given the AOCAF history of the teams in this group that have had AOCAF experience, we expect that Starblaydia will top the group, with Sarzonia and the Hawks battling it out for second place. Of course, The Lowland Clans will be the stalking horse in this group, and Nojika might try to sneak up on everyone. The only team that is not considered a threat to reach the knockouts in the group is AOCAF newcomers Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. On another note, we notice that Starblaydia has used the chance to spout yet more of their normal anti-Lamoni propoganda. We regard this as standard Starblaydi bluster (which they use when they can't think of anything else to say), and it is expected that the Lamonian squad will pay it no heed. After all, what can be more galling to someone picking on someone else than to be totally ignored? Finally, we predict that Vilita will manage to defeat Starblaydia in the knockouts and win it all in this AOCAF.

Posted by: Milchama Nov 27 2005, 06:03 PM

Chi Sun-Times-Tribune-Star-News-Today-Yesterday Sports Section Milchama Screwed over in draw The Milchama Warriors had horrible luck in the AOCAF 11 draw yesterday as they got drawn with Crystilakere, Spruitland, Nedalia, and Fmjphoenix. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "Well the team quality we are facing here will be a good tune up for the CoH." And now of course its time for the infamous Milchamian predictions by matchday: Nedalia- The Lions after finishing a dissapointing 4th in the WC qualification come to AOCAF to preserve their coaches job and too show that they are still a football power. We fully expect them to come away victorious against us but are not sure whether they will advance or not. Spruitland: The Wabbits #2 squad will probably still be pretty good at least better than Milchama's #1 team. This of course means a loss but maybe we could get lucky and get a draw. Whether Spruitland advances depends on how well they play against Nedalia and Fmjphoenix. Crystilakere: The Crystils are one of the best teams in the world but recently have underperformed in the World Cup. Despite that they are still much better than Milchama and we will again be up against the wall with another loss. Crystilakere should make the next round easily. Fmjphoenix: The one game where we have a chance. We managed to tie them in WC qualification with a 90th minute goal by Spot Nielson. Now we get another crack at them with their B squad. We expect at least a draw here if not an actual win. The Vikings will need some good results against Spruitland and Nedalia to have any hope of advancement. Milchama gets 2 points and finishes in last place in their group. The teams that advance are in no order: Nedalia, Spruitland, Crystilakere.

Posted by: Sarzonia Nov 27 2005, 10:41 PM

Stars look to make statement The Sarzonian second choice national team in the final stages of preparation for the 11th edition of the AOCAF tournament bears little resemblance to the teams that have consistently fallen short of glory in regional competition. For new coach Brett Hancock, that was by design. "We need to see new players in new roles," Hancock said. "[Senior team Coach Barry Owens] really wants to see some fresh blood on the team before they get too old. We need to keep things going in the right direction on this team." For their part, the Incorporated Football Federation is also looking to the future by naming Hancock the head coach of this version of the Stars. He has served only two years as the head coach of the Woodstock Justice, a women's football team, but he said he would implement a defence-oriented system that he envisions will lead to the senior team playing stronger defensively in the World Cup. The Stars team that will play in the AOCAF tournament is very young, with only midfielder Ettore Salivani over 28 years old. Only four of the team's 18 players are 26 years old or older. Salivani has taken well to his leadership role, according to Hancock. "He really has been a take-charge kind of guy," Hancock said. "He's a vocal leader. [Defender George] Conway is more of a lead-by-example guy." That balance shoudl help us against the teams we're facing." To wit, the Stars are facing their AOCAF nemesis Starblaydia, a team they have only defeated three times in their history, all of which during World Cup qualifying or finals play. Besides Starblaydia, the Stars open up with Nojika, a team they faced in the first-ever AOCAF tournament, playing to a 2-2 draw after their 3-2 win over Crystilakere. "We're going to have to put it in overdrive especially in the middle of the group stage," Salivani said. "We're not going to be able to take it easy against anyone in our group if we want to move on to the knockouts." Salivani dismissed Starblaydi comments about Sarzonian football being "boring." "Who gives a [expletive] what they think," he said. "We're all about results. Let them come talk to us when they win a World Cup." For the Stars, just advancing to the knockouts isn't good enough. After one world championship, a Cup of Harmony title, and a Baptism of Fire Cup title, the Stars are after the hardware but they respect the hard road it will take to win it all. "We've only been in one final in AOCAF," Hancock said. "We need to get back there and win it."

Posted by: Pastorville Nov 27 2005, 11:54 PM

SAINTS TO FACE DIFFICULT CHALLENGE IN FIRST AOCAF TOURNAMENT The Pastorville Saints got an extremely tough assignment for their first AOCAF tournament by being drawn into the same group as four savvy WC veterans. With the experience of the other teams in their group the Saints will find it hard to earn many points, despite their surprisingly strong WC debut in WC XXV. The Saints will need a miracle to be able to qualify in their first attempt of this highly-competitive tournament.

Posted by: Starblaydia Nov 28 2005, 06:49 AM

"Of all the so-called 'news' outlets in all of Starblaydia, why did the Lamonians and Sarzonians have to go and read the one by that dickhead from the LADFFA? We're trying to keep international incidents to a minimum, here!" Lord Rikaard Van Honjiik tossed the folder containing printed-out and photocopied versions of three articles centered around the AOCAF. One by Genkuro Addimatzi and one each from a Lamonian and Sarzonian media outlet. Tiberius Starblayde, however, simply sat back in his chair and chuckled. "I think it's rather brilliant, actually," he said, "whipping up an international incident because some weirdo thinks that Sarzonia are boring - which the are - and that Lamonians have no money - which they don't. Classic." "But we've made a Sarzonian swear," Lord Van Honjiik despaired, "they only do that when they're really annoyed." "Don't be a fool." Tiberius got out of his seat for a glass of water. "That's a Sarzonian, not a national representative. He might use language that'd make a dockyard worker blush, it's not representative." "But you can't just go around calling a nation's style of football 'boring', that's just not cricket!" "Precisely." Tiberius was getting a little bored of the discussion. "It's football. Around the world, they say that System Karela is boring..." "System What?" Tiberius was stunned for a moment, so much so that his glass overflowed with water from the tap and spilled on the floor. He put the glass down and shook the excess of his hand. "Are you serious, Rikaard? I made you my Minister for Sport and you don't even know what System Karela is, after all these years?" Tiberius waited for an answer, but only a sheepish look was forthcoming. "Get the hell out, the Andossa match is on soon, and I want to see that in peace."

Posted by: Nedalia Nov 28 2005, 09:47 AM

The Nedalia Lions Nedalia: 3 (Downing 31, Tayarra 54, Houdini 82) Milchama: 0 SUKATRA, BETTIA - The Lions got off to a fine start in their campaign to repeat the success they have achieved during recent AOCAF tournaments, defeating Milchama 3-0. The main talking pointsbefore the match was the number of uncapped players, and the few stars that were to feature in the Cup of Harmony side. It turned out that neither was actually a problem; the uncapped players were on top of their game and the stars that were to feature in the Cup of Harmony were mostly reserves who rarely got to see the pitch, with the exception of captain Downing. Downing was easily the man of the match, and despite his listing as the left winger, he controlled nearly the entire midfield, showing pace, strength, and agility at all times. He opened up the scoring for the Lions in the 31st minute after receiving a well placed pass from another Cup of Harmony reservists, 20 year old Houdini. While he was almost overwhelmed during the WC 25 qualifying campaign, Houdini showed why he was called up in the first place, with his sublime dribbling skills and his spot on passes. What suprised and impressed most, however, was his new found toughness, which was the biggest concern about him, especially considering he plays as a defensive midfielder. He provided Bader Tayarra with the 2nd Nedalian goal, bringing his total to 2 assists, and scored the last goal himself in the 82nd minute. The defensive effort the team gave was also exceptional, and thats not something one can say about the Lions too often. Three of the 4 defenders were uncapped, and the 4th, right back Ben Turner, was a reserve in the 1st Lions squad. However, the way they performed together, collected and as a unit, should be the envy of the 1st Lions squad, who all too often seem to lose defensive focus, costing crucial mistakes. All in all, the first game has given encouraging signs to the Nedalians who travelled in huge numbers across their eastern border into Bettia to watch their team play. The Nedalians, however, would have preferred to play in Akani Sands, where it would be like playing a home game...but perhaps thats why the Bettian FA decided not to have that happen. They have to keep things fair and neutral, dont they?

Posted by: Sarzonia Nov 28 2005, 11:50 AM

Ben Nightingale was bored. His job in the Office of External Affairs was reaching a dull period of monotony after a brief flurry of activity when relations between Sarzonia and Pacitalia went south. After the Sarzonian President and the Pacitalian Prime Minister both came to their senses, the most exciting development to come about in the office was the Bandurian threat against the Questers Commonwealth that seemed to be squelched by pressure from several nations including Sarzonia. He watched the Sarzonian national footballers play a drab 1-1 draw against Nojika. Nojika? Shouldn't we cream these guys, he thought. "Damn Hancock," he muttered to himself as he saw the coach answer questions from a Sarzonian media that was ready to pounce viciously on the neophyte field boss whose team failed to hold a 1-0 lead courtesy of forward Kyle Mason's breathtaking 24th minute bicycle kick. The defence led by team captain Ettore Salivani failed to mark Nojika's ace forward and as the 68th minute flashed onto the screen, the Stars found themselves drawn level with a Nojika side no one expected to do much. "What a bloody mess," Nightingale muttered as Salivani was shown gesturing wildly and yelling back at Hancock after the coach sent on midfielder Ken Lewis in his place, leaving George Conway the wearer of the captain's armband for the remaining 21 minutes of regulation time. An aide approached Nightingale after the final whistle ended the match with a disappointing two standings points lost forever. "Hey, you know the Starblaydis think we're boring, right?" "Yeah, what about it?" "Did you see what Salivani said about it?" "I read that. Apparently, the Starblaydis think we don't swear." "What the bloody hell are they on about," the aide said. "They obviously don't know us well enough." Nightingale laughed. There was one good thing that came out of a horrible football match that left Sarzonia in a four way scramble for second place behind the hated Blades. Then, the scores from the other groups flashed on the screen. Hypocria 2, Hockey Canada brought a smile to his face. Now there were two good things.

Posted by: Bettia Nov 28 2005, 12:04 PM

Aroras Kick Off In Style Bettia 3 (Haynes 34 89, Ackermann 66) Bedistan 0 Bettia got their AOCAF XI campaign off to an ideal start with a 3-0 victory, which in all honesty somewhat flattered the hosts as the scoreline could have easily been so different. Just a couple of days after their respective first teams fought out an entertaining 1-1 draw in the World Cup, Bettia and Bedistan met again after a spectacular opening ceremony here at Stadiwm Bettia. Following the example of the first team, the Aroras fielded an attacking 3-2-5 formation with included four debutants. Bettia's positive intent was evident right from the off, with team-mates Rosensteihl and Ackermann linking up well up front to cause a number of early scares. However, the Lions weren't ones to take this lying down, and Von Bietsch was forced to make a superb fingertip save in the 20th minute. Roared on by a passionate home support, the Aroras took the lead just after the half-hour mark. Ziyad Farmer collected the ball from within his own half and found Jamie Kingsholm on the wing whose pacy run took him to the goalline. His high cross was met by Zak Haynes, who managed to get to the ball first to head home. The rest of the first half was marked by periods of frenetic end-to-end football, and this carried on into the second half with both teams creating numerous opportunities. Bettia doubled their advantage on 66 minutes, when Ackermann latched onto a wayward backpass, sidestepped the keeper and walked the ball into the net. This was the cue for a furious Bedistani fightback with shots raining in on the Bettian goal on a regular basis, with the plucky Aroras defence somehow keeping the ball out. Against the run of play, Zak Haynes made absolutely sure of the three points with a shot from the corner of the penalty area which dipped past a despairing Lions keeper. Elsewhere in Group One, Turori suffered a shock defeat at the hands of Bettia's next opponents Oliverry, whilst Druida gave their beleaguered countrymen something to cheer about after winning 2-0 against Falcania.

Posted by: Falcania Nov 28 2005, 12:48 PM

Pwned! Thus read the headline today, as Falcania belted out a disappointing start to this season's AOCAF. Druida were up against the Falcons for the first time in either's history. Things were looking promising as Miller shattered out shot after significant shot, none of which got through the solid defence. The Druida attackers managed to break through the midfield and got past the halfway line unscathed. A skilful bit of footwork ensured a goal against Welch, who made a brave effort to stop the ball with his toes as he leapt the wrong way. The half time whistle blew, and the team went off for some Elyrian Orange halves and tactics. The team rolled on after half time and Miller went for a blistering run at the goal. He shot, with no opposition, and the ball flew into the net! GOAL! It was at this point he realised the teams had changed sides. A demoralised Miller failed to score after his humiliating own goal and it was up to the solid defence of the Falcons to lock together and prevent further humiliation. Let us only hope the Falcons can pick up on this. Fortunately, up is the only available direction for the Falcons. Final scores: Falcania 0 Druida 2 (Smithson 35:12; Miller 45:5 [OG])

Posted by: Hypocria Nov 28 2005, 01:13 PM

AOCAF XI Canucks Crumble Hypocria 2 - 0 Hockey Canada Liberda (2) It was a good day all round for the Hyppos, first they were described as “savvy WC veterans by the media in Pastorville (we’re assuming here that the WC stands for World Cup and not . . . well . . . you know) and then they got the AOCAF underway with a good win over Hockey Canada. It was the first meeting between the sides at senior level. Actually that’s not entirely true. There was a match at the Ts’kinvali invitational tournament in South Osettia but as that competition never finished I guess it doesn’t count. Which is fine as the Canucks won. The only other meeting between the side came at Under-21 World Cup 18 in which the Hyppos dumped then champions Hockey Canada out in the quarter finals. It took a while but Hypocria’s finest finally broke through the massed Hockey Canada defence with just a minute of the first half remaining. Marshall beat a defender wide on the right and attacked the edge of the box. He drilled a cross shot low and hard into the penalty area. It eluded everyone except Alex Liberda who stabbed the ball in at the far post. Recovering from a one goal deficit would not have daunted the Canucks first choice team but it proved too much for an inexperienced second string side. As the men in red searched for a way back into the match huge gaps appeared in their back line. Burdali took advantage and surged in between defenders. His shot was parried by the goalkeeper put the ball dropped kindly for Liberda and he steered a header away from the stranded keeper and into the back of the net to send the blue and white hordes who had made the short trip by train to Lorshill into raptures. Coach Gregory Vidal summed up the importance of the win, “It was crucial to get three points on the board before we lose to Vilita.” And the Jungle Cats are looking in ominous form, Vilita hammering AOCAF new boys 5 - 0 in their opening fixture to top the group ahead of the Hyppos on goal difference. In the other Group 3 match Krytenia were surprisingly held to a 1 - 1 draw by unfancied Chacor. Matchday 1 Roundup Group 1 The home fans had huge smiles on their faces after the Arora’s opening game against Bedistan. Bettia top Group 1 at this early stage after an excellent 3 - 0 win. Druida are second after a comfortable 2 - 0 victory over Falcania. Oliverry are third after a shock 2 - 1 win over the Eels of Turori. Group 2 We’ve only had one round of games but already the Purple Peril are out in front in Group 2. Reigning champions Starblaydia top the group after a narrowly overcoming a spirited Sea Dragon effort by the odd goal in five. The other sides dropped two points behind the champs after both the Sarzonia/Nojika fixture and the Lamoni/Lowland Clans game finished 1 - 1. Group 4 Nedalia lead the way in the smallest group after a comprehensive 3 - 0 over debutants Milchama. Fmjphoenix are second after beating Spruitland 2 - 1.

Posted by: Krytenia Nov 28 2005, 05:26 PM

CHACORMAKER Krytenia 1 Chacor 1 THE picturesque Akani Sands was the backdrop to an interesting encounter, as Ari Smith's Jacks ground out a one-all draw with the Chacorians. Both sides fought well, and perhaps the inexperience of Krytenia's young squad showed, but the game was a rip-roarer nonetheless. It was Chacor who took the lead, with Skows putting the side in front twelve minutes in after a defensive error from young Levell Sanders. The Krytenians continued to attack, however Lausano's blank form from the "A" squad in WCXXIV continued here as he missed a trio of excellent chances. It took a dead ball to level the match, and it was Stanton and "B" captain Xander Mehrtens who managed it, curling the ball in from a 25-yard free kick. Honours even, but still all to play for as the Jacks take on Pastorville back here at Shubunkin Park. See you there!

Posted by: Pastorville Nov 28 2005, 06:15 PM

SAINTS SUFFER THROUGH OPENER The Pastorville Saints must have done something that made God angry because they were severely punished by Vilita 0-5 in their AOCAF debut. The Saints were not expected to take any points from Vilita, but they were supposed to manage to keep the match closer than they did. It is widely believed that the aggressiveness of the Saints defenders led to the ridiculously high goal total for Vilita in the match. The Saints can't possibly do worse in their next match...can they?

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Nov 28 2005, 06:46 PM

Sea Dragons Come UP Short! Good and bad news made its way to the fans of ASMV today. Bad News - The AOCAF squad followed the pattern set by the WC25 squad with a 1 point loss. Good News - This match was against Starblaydia, so the score could have been much more one sided. More Good News - The squad is just 1 point out of second place in Group 2, as both other matches ended in draws. The two goals for ASMV were Carrie Sessom (17th minute) and Jan Slavik (83rd minute). The best news for the squad was that the new "Tidal Surge" style was effective. "I am very pleased with the result today" said Commandante Presidente Viastormin Vega, who made the trip to Bettia. "Now that we have established that we can be competitive here, I look for great things from this team." Next up - Sarzonia. The squad hopes to at least come away with 1 point, but that alone is an enormous task. Group Two Starblaydia 3-2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Sarzonia 1-1 Nojika Lamoni 1-1 The Lowland Clans CODE   Pos Team                       P   W   D   L   GF   GA   GD  Pts  1  Starblaydia                1   1   0   0    3    2    1    3  2  Sarzonia                   1   0   1   0    1    1    0    1  3  Lamoni                     1   0   1   0    1    1    0    1  4  The Lowland Clans          1   0   1   0    1    1    0    1  5  Nojika                     1   0   1   0    1    1    0    1  6  Andossa Se Mitrin Vega     1   0   0   1    2    3   -1    0 Code box fixed - Star

Posted by: Starblaydia Nov 28 2005, 07:10 PM

Age Proves Unreliable Against Dragons At least we're not as decrepid as Bedistan Discounting the young and volatile Right-Back Francisco Ibanez, as well as Centre-Back Heider Stefansson, the average age of this Starblaydi starting eleven is a gnat's whisker away from being thirty years old. Now, thirty year-old legs and lungs tend not to work as well as those of the youth. So, when Starblaydia found themselves gaining or losing the ball against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, they were quickly overwhelmed by the Sea Dragons in 'transistion'. Many times did we see Ernesto Fortuna or Juan Aguilera having to hot-foot it around the middle of the park, chasing after or escaping from Sea Dragon players. "I'm bloody knackered," said Joe Kippenberger after the match, "I know football's meant to be partly about athleticism but that's just taking it too far. I nearly had a stitch in that match." Thankfully, though, the Starblaydi bench did have some players with speed and stamina on their side, and once Georges Blanc (20), Oswald Perheira (23) and Rabindrah Singh (22) had come on in place of Fortuna (30), Justin Hawke (31) and Aguilera (32) respectively, Starblaydia were back in the swing of things. A politically-testing match against the Hawks of Lamoni comes next, though where else in the world would you see Lamonians and Starblaydis competing on a level playing field but in football? As today's 3-2 and other slightly-shocking results show, almost anything can happen in the AOCAF. Even a 5th Starblaydi Championship. Starblaydia 3 - 2 Andossa Se Mitrin Vega (Diaz-Arca 25, Macia 31, Singh 68) - (Sessom 17, Slavik 83)

Posted by: Lamoni Nov 28 2005, 07:54 PM

Four way tie? So far, competition in AOCAF Group two has gone to the birds with Lamoni, Sarzonia, Nojika, and The Lowland Clans all involved in a four way tie for second place, with one point each. Not only that, but all four teams scored only one goal in their first AOCAF XI match. Notwithstanding, the Lamonian goal came from Forward James Rusby with a bicycle style kick in the 40th minute. One lucky Lamonian sports photographer just happened to be at the match with his camera, and caught the skillful shot. It'll probably make a nice shot for a Lamonian footballing recruiting poster. Unfortunately, no one has so far managed to obtain the name of said photographer. The Hawks will be facing off against Starblaydia next, and will be hoping for a victory against them, as always. The Starblaydia 'news' outlets seem to think that this match will be filled with political tension on both sides. Well, they are only half right. While the Starblaydis might exhibit 'political tension,' the Hawks will just be out there playing their best against the Starblaydis; just as they would for any other match that they might play. Lamoni - 1 James Rusby (40) TLC - 1 (25)

Posted by: Milchama Nov 28 2005, 08:25 PM

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Journal-Enquirer Sports Section Milchama get crushed in their first game The Milchama Warriors got off to a horrible start in their AOCAF campaign today as they lost to the Nedalia Lions 3-0. Coach Jonathan Fairbanks said, "Well that was a bad start. I was hoping to get at least a goal against these guys. We are not expecting to do well this tournament but I was at least expecting to get a goal against these Nedalians." Also with us caring about CoH more than AOCAF Milchama now throws their B squad into the tournament: Roster Our standard 3-3-4 formation. Gk Clay Finton D Kent Littner D Kyoga Marcazumi D Mills Thompson M Chuck Farenstein M Antoine Sanchez M Marin Keffer F Aaron Kary F Zar Johnson F Floren Albentine F Daveed Lintooney Subs: All Kevin Grensboro (again) Gk Kyle Blard F Bat Nackson F Cap Anton D Casey Stockholm As for the match you can look at the Nedalian press they got it covered.

Posted by: The Lowland Clans Nov 29 2005, 09:36 AM

GRAHM CITY SUN - Sports Section Clans Drawn in Tough Group, Morale Low The Lowland Clans Stars were drawn in a horrible group today, consisting of some of the finest teams currently in the AO region and two of the new wave of talent, Nojika and ASMV. It is widely predicted that the Stars will finish in 5th or 6th place, not helping the beginning of new player-manager Westley Stjepan's reign. "It's getting bloody ridiculous the draws we're getting. I mean, it's bad enough for the World Cup Qualifiers that we got drawn with Rejistania, the Archregimancy, Svecia, Sqournshelous, and Brazillico, but look at this! It's a wonder the players even come to practice sunday morning." The Sarzonian national team, ranked number one in the world, is largely expected to take the group by storm, with the dark horse challenge of the 'Blades. Led by captain Ettore Salivani, the other Star's defence is expected to be rock solid, and should be a fine example for all to follow in the years to come The Starblaydian national is looking to repeat this year, and could very well do it. They'll probably finish second behind Sarzonia, simply because of the momentum the other Stars have from the World Cup and there number 1 world ranking. Lamoni, along with ourselves, will be the perenial underachievers for this group, solely from the reason that Nojika is going to come out of the gate like no other. It's not that this team, led by the likes of John Towers and Marvin Boyd, is not good, far from it, it's just that Nojika will be better Ah, us, the Allied States of the Lowland Clans. Probably the team around the longest without actually winning bloody anything, this AOCAF cup will be no different. Don't even expect us to qualify. This brings us the Nojikans, the upstarts of this AOCAF cup. Seriously, these guys have some serious talent and momentum goin for them. With many of the international press picking these guys to qualify over us and Lamoni, expect them to do it. They have the skill set, the coaching, everything to make their international break, right here. And finally, the other guys, ASMV. These guys will also be poised to make a dark horse run at the qualifying spot. While it could take them a couple of cups to get up to snuff simply for experience sake, these guys have the heart after coming off a dreadful World Cup performance. Predicted Group Finish Order 1. Sarzonia 2. Starblaydia 3. Nojika 4. Lamoni 5. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega 6. The Lowland Clans --------------------------------------------------- The Allied States Get Off to Expected Start BETTIA - The Stars quite simply got what they expected. This makes the exquisitely painful loss to Nojika today simply more painful, considering our squads rather long history on the international football scene. While yesterday, player-manager and captain Westley Stjepan felt fairly confident after a 1-1 draw with Lamoni, the play of the Stars today was cause for serious concern. "You know," commented Rich Blythe after the loss today, "I think that whoever is on this team, who ever manages this team, it all matters for -explicitive removed-. This team is bloody cursed." The fans of the Allied States are sure feeling that curse today. THE LOWLAND CLANS - 0 NOJIKA - 2 Follett 2 (23rd, 56th) THE LOWLAND CLANS - 1 Park (35th) LAMONI - 1 Rusby (40th)

Posted by: Sarzonia Nov 29 2005, 10:20 AM

Stars stuff Dragons 2-1 Ceffinton, Bettia (ASP) -- Predictions from media outlets in The Lowland Clans notwithstanding, the Sarzonian second choice footballers to a man are predicting that the 11th running of a AOCAF tournament that has not been kind to the Stars will be a struggle. After the team's 1-1 draw against Nojika, the team's worst fears were realised. The Stars can breathe somewhat easier. They got goals from Brian Williams, who has just agreed to terms with a team in the Hyper League, and midfielder Roger Alvarez and watched goalkeeper Marty Tolliver make six saves and Sarzonia escaped Andossa Se Mitrin Vega with a 2-1 win that kept the Stars on pace to advance past the group stage. "That was a tough match," Coach Brett Hancock said. "I don't envy Andossa Se Mitrin Vega at all having to play the two highest-rated sides in their first two matches. They played a very tough match of football against us." The Stars (1-1-0, four points) are behind Nojika on goal differential for second place and are two points behind Starblaydia for first in the group heading into a match that marketing groups throughout Sarzonia are already billing as "The Battle of the Stars," as Sarzonia's team prepare to face The Lowland Clans in their third straight match at Heol Angharyd in Ceffinton. The only match Sarzonia will not be playing in these grounds will be their highly-anticipated match against Starblaydia, which some media are already looking ahead to. Hancock dismissed talk of the Starblaydi team, telling reporters he wanted to concentrate on questions related to The Lowland Clans. "We're not giving the Starblaydis any more attention than they deserve," Hancock said. "They put their pants on one leg at a time the same way we do. Even their Dwarves." While the Stars may be reluctant to discuss Starblaydia early on, they're certainly more eager to discuss Hypocria. After the Hyppos' 2-0 win over Hockey Canada, the Stars were hoping that the team whose senior side is coached by Sarzonia's former field boss Dave Wilson would be able to pull out another win and "bury [Vilita]," according to defender Ettore Salivani. Unfortunately for Sarzonian players who looked barely distinguishable from fans of the Hyppos after they dressed and watched the match in the television in the locker room, the Hyppos couldn't get one behind the Jungle Cats goal and establish themselves as the early class of Group 3, but the Stars aren't worried. "Dave Wilson's going to take that team far if their management will let him," Hancock said. "I have no doubt in my mind he'll lead them to glory."

Posted by: Falcania Nov 29 2005, 12:02 PM

Turori Cheats the Falcons The headlines were relentless today, after the barrage of shame brought previously upon Falcon frontman Silas Miller. Miller was placed on the bench of the latest loss, a controversial decision from Jake Papas, as many fans are calling for him to be dropped from the squad completely. In a change to the legendary 5-4-1 formation, Papas played a 5-3-2, dropping Tamplin from midfield and bringing on reserve strikers Gavin Pool and Tom Black. Things were looking good for the new setup. We started the match well, with Guy and Pattison weaving their magic and flummoxing the opposing defence, subtly playing the ball to Black who volleyed it at the goal. It was an easy save for the keeper, but it rattled the opposition, as it occured only 15 seconds into the match. The team were evidently locking solid in their role, although conceding a goal shortly after. The pivotal moment came around half-time, when a firecracker thrown from the crowd distracted the referee and the linesman whilst a desperate Turori midfielder fly-kicked James Guy in the head. This brought no cards, not even a free kick. The entire Falcanian population went beserk, including Guy's friend and fellow midfielder Joe Pattison, who promptly headbutted the offending midfielder. Guy was stretchered off, Joe Pattison sent off, although both did so with a hail of cheers from their fans. Faced with a tricky situation at half time, Papas used all three substitutions, changing the formation to 5-3-1. Injured Guy was substited for Rowan Clapp, Black was substituted for Max Suttcliffe, who fell back into midfield, and Poole was replaced with the legendary Miller, who promptly scored a cracking shot against a confuzzled Turori keeper. Having equalised, the Falcons played an excellent game, but a header in the last minutes sealed an enraged Falcania's fate, as the Turori team returned to their hotels in an armoured bus. "It was horrific." Said long-time Falcons fan Ollie Rae. "I don't think Turori will get away with that sort of tactic again. If they do, they'll get creamed." Preliminary reports suggest that James Guy has severe cranial contusions, while Joe Pattison has been suspended for the next game. Papas has reported he will be playing Clapp and Suttcliffe in their places, but will it be a combination to break the defeats? Final Scores: Falcania 1 (Miller 47:04) Turori 2 (Johnson 12:37; Burke 87:29) Bookings: Pattison (F)

Posted by: Hypocria Nov 29 2005, 12:15 PM

AOCAF XI Toothless Jungle Cats Hypocria 0 - 0 Vilita The Hyppos started the day joint top of Group 3 alongside Vilita and rather fortuitously ended the day joint top alongside Vilita too. It was the third meeting between the sides in three AOCAF tournaments and the general consensus around the training camp was that this game would end in much the same way as the previous two, in defeat. But it would prove to be third time lucky. Well not quite, it was only a draw, but against the second best side in the competition I think we’ll take that. In fairness there was only really one side in the match as the Jungles Cats out shot the Hyppos by fifteen efforts to six. Keeper Ricardo Kindelan rolled back the years with a string of fine saves, earning comparisons with the form that helped Hypocria to the final eight years ago. The Hyppos two best chances came in the same second half minute. Shirko’s low drive was turned around the post and from the resulting corner Kreska headed narrowly wide. Of course Hypocria’s goal scoring efforts weren’t helped by the total lack of any animal life in the Stamping Ground in Lorshill. Without a passing pigeon or perhaps even an unsuspecting mole to cause a repeat of the “avian assist” incident in a recent Champions League tie in Yeaddin and deflect some of those wayward shots towards the Vilita goal the deadlock was never going to be broken. Picking up a point against Vilita surprised many Hypocrian fans, one of a number of surprises in Group 3. Hockey Canada would have been hopeful of their first points of the campaign against Chacor but the Chacorians clearly hadn’t read the right script, beating the Canucks 2 - 1. And it was by the same 2 - 1 score line that tournament new boys Pastorville toppled Krytenia in the other group game. The results leave a three way tie at the top of Group 3 with Vilita, Hypocria and Chacor all on 4 points. After their win Pastorville are only a point further back while Krytenia have just a single point to their name in fifth. Hockey Canada prop up the rest after two straight defeats. The top four teams in the group face each other on matchday 3. Hypocria stay in Lorshill to face Pastorville while across the city Vilita take on Chacor. After this next round of matches the question of which teams will qualify may come just that little bit clearer. Matchday 2 Roundup Group 1 Bettia are riding high in Group 1 after a second successive win, this time 1 - 0 over Oliverry., kept the Aroras in pole position. Their nearest challenges Druida were held 1 - 1 by Bedistan while Turori registered their first points after a 2 - 1 win over struggling Falcania. Group 2 No question who came away with the bragging rights after rivals Starblaydia and Lamoni went head to head. The Purple Peril stay top of Group 2 after a comfortable 3 - 0 victory over the Hawks. Nojika are 2 points behind after a 2 - 0 win against the Lowland Clans and despite another spirited display Andossa Se Mitrin Vega are still looking for their first AOCAF points, Sarzonia edging past the Sea Dragons by a 2 - 1 score line. Group 4 Crystilakere played their first game of the tournament and the rest on matchday 1 clearly did the Crystils no harm as they beat Fmjphoenix 1 - 0. Meanwhile the goalless draw between Milchama and Spruitland did neither nation any real favours. Despite sitting out matchday 2 Nedalia remain top of the group.

Posted by: Nedalia Nov 29 2005, 12:44 PM

Gamman put the newspaper down, and took another sip from his freshly made, imported-directly-from-Southern-Nedalia-on-a-Nedalian-plane-in-a-box-which-had-the-Nedalian-flag coffee. He looked up just as one of his assistants was coming into the room. "Ah, Harry, how goes ye? Our boys did well against Milchama back home. 3-0, it says here," commented Gamman. "Yeh, I read about it on that internet. Didnt play last night, though," replied Harry. "Still topping the table. Bettia doing alright themselves. 2 games, 2 wins. They rocked Bedistan." "Aye, I actually caught that on the telly. Anyway, the lads reckon-" "Dam Starblaydia got one over the Lamonians again. I was hoping the Hawks would teach them a thing or two." "Yes, sir, but the boys are waitin-" "And Sarzonia drew? Thats a shock. Who's coaching our boys again?" "Um, I think its the Rappor FC manager." "Whatever, he better not be aiming for my job."

Posted by: Starblaydia Nov 29 2005, 12:45 PM

What Eats Hawks? Starblaydis! Lowland Clands in Ranking Gaffe It would seem that pictures of the four AOCAF Trophy-lifting captains are better for creating enthuasiasm around football than a simple photo of a guy scoring with an overhead kick. The result of Lamoni Vs Starblaydia on Matchday Two would tend to confirm this, as a brace from Augusto Diaz, sandwiched a strike from Christian Macia. "Whether its white hawks, silver stars, navy stars or even silly blue Dragons on someone's shirt, we just take each game as it comes." Said Starblaydi Captain Kippenberger, though when asked about Clannish predicitions that the 'Best-team-in-the-world would top the Group, he had other things to say. "I'll freely admit that when Sarzonia put out their number-one team, they are able to beat any football team in the world, if I didn't recognise that then I'm either blind or deluded. The thing is, this is the AOCAF, not the world. The B-Teams get sent here, as is only right, and when the B-Teams play, Starblaydia tend to come out on top. Sarzonia may have the strength, but we certainly have the depth, moreso than any nation in the world, I believe." But what of the Lamoni match itself? Were any of the so-called political tensions tangible to the players on the pitch? "The fans were a little more... hostile than usual, but as for the match itwas like any other. I went to shake the hand of the Lamonian captain afterwards, so for the players on the pitch it was just another high-pressure game." Lamoni 0 - 3 Starblaydia (None) - (Diaz 12 + 62, Macia 39)

Posted by: Pastorville Nov 29 2005, 05:19 PM

SAINTS SURPRISE KRYTENIA The Pastorville Saints were blessed with a surprising 2-1 upset of Krytenia in their first ever AOCAF home match. Krytenia took an early lead before the Saints equalized in the 39th minute, when Reverend King took a pass from Reverend Douglas, and found the bottom left corner of the net to even the match. Most of the second half proved to be a defensive struggle, as neither team could mount a serious sustained threat. Then in the 88th minute, the Saints counter-attack struck again, as Reverend Carlson took a pass from Reverend Johnson and converted the resulting breakaway for the upset. The Saints now travel to Hypocria, where they likely will get blown out of the water again, but we hold out hope that they will fare better on the road this time than they did in the opener.

Posted by: Krytenia Nov 29 2005, 06:38 PM

VICARIOUS VICARS Krytenia 1 Pastorville 2 AKANI Sands is not a place that the Jacks appear to be enjoying. After the non-result against Chacor, fortune surely favoured Krytenia to defeat an inexperienced Pastorvile side. And, to be fair, the first act seemed to be going according to the script as Evan Baxter put the men in sky blue in front on twelve minutes, latching on sweetly to a pinpoint Sherington cross. Pastorville, however, hadn't read the script in question and had decided on some dramatics on their own. First, they levelled the scores before half-time as King drilled home the equaliser from range, then stifled the second half into a scrappy stalemate. The curtain call, however, came two minutes from times as Carlson got the break and scored a shock winner. The Jacks are now second from bottom, with a single point from arguably the two easiest games of the five. With Hockey Canada next (at Akani Sands again, oh dear) followed by Vilita in Lorshill and ANOTHER game at the Sands against Hypocria, Krytenia are, in short, completely screwed at this point. Wonder if we can get one of those Pastors to lift the curse on this ground?

Posted by: Lamoni Nov 29 2005, 06:50 PM

Hawks lose to Starblaydia The Hawks got handed a disapointing 3-0 loss to Starblaydia today, placing them fifth in group two. Some losses are to be expected in a tough grouping like this, but we expect that the Hawks will bounce back to defeat Andossa Se Mitrin Vega in the next match. Although, everyone that I know will be looking forward to the Lamoni-Sarzonia match, which will help to determine how far the Hawks make it in this particular AOCAF. The expected win against ASMV will improve the strategic outlook for the Hawks, as well. Lamoni - 0 Starblaydia - 3 (12, 39, 62)

Posted by: Milchama Nov 29 2005, 11:23 PM

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Tribune-Journal-Enquirer Sports Section U21s get big draw against Spruitland Apparently the juniors can play some really good football as they came up against a very good Spruitland side and tied them 0-0. Despite being under pressure much of the game defenders Kyoga Marcazumi, Kent Littner and Casey Stockholm did very well to hold the Wabbits to a shutout. Coach Patrice Thibault said, "Well we did better than our A squad in their one game down here so we can at least be proud of that. Now we want to score a goal before the end of the group stage. Next game I think we should score." Match Report: The Warriors started off a little scared as they had never played a team with as much skill as the Spruitland B Team. While the faces looked similar with no one really standing out the talent did not seem to differ much. Early in the game the Wabbits attacked vigourously with Y and X mounting some creative attacks to try and beat Marcazumi and Littner. Luckily for the Warriors the defenders came up huge stopping the strikers in their paths. Unfortunately though the Wabbits kept on coming and almost scored in the 14th minute when TDM found X alone in the box. X's shot was right on net but luckily right to Clay Finton who made the easy save. A little bit later the Warriors finally mounted an attack as Chuck Farenstein passed a nice long ball to Zar Johnson. Johnson raced up and managed to get off a nice shot but it was high and a maybe a little wide. Milchama would attack sporadically like that the rest of the day. That meant of course that Spruitland had the majority of the attacks and they did but the Milchamian defense played one of the best defensive games in Milchama history as despite allowing 14 shots and the Wabbits having 9 shots on net they did not score a goal. Clay Finton made 7 great saves and in the 63rd minute, the closest either team came to scoring, Casey Stockholm kicked a ball off the line after a scramble during a corner kick. In the end it was not a boring match at all despite the 0-0 draw even for Milchamians who saw their U21 team play the best game of their lives (so far). Final Score: Milchama 0 (7 shots 2 on net) Spruitland 0 (14 shots 9 on net)

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Nov 30 2005, 03:56 AM

ASMV - Kings of the 1 Point Loss The Sea Dragons took to field against Sarzonia today with high hopes. Unfortunately those hopes didn't quite pan out. The match ended with ASMV once again on the wrong end of a 2-1 score. The teams spirit remains high, however. Having played Starblaydia and Sarzonia to a goal apiece, the very young Sea Dragon "B" squad is already chomping at the bit and ready to eat some Hawk for dinner. Carrie Sessom (33rd minute) scored the only ASMV goal. Following the match, she had this to say - "We played well and came up just short. Sarzonia is the team to beat after all. Starblaydia was a tough match also. But now those two are out of the way. News from Lamoni says they expect to beat us. I wish them luck. They are gonna need it!" Sooner or later all of those 1 point losses will turn into 1 point wins. When that happens - everybody had better beware the mighty Sea Dragons!

Posted by: Starblaydia Nov 30 2005, 07:09 AM

Starblaydia Drop 100% record A little bit fishy as Allies share points? Two things call this results into question. 1) Starblaydia are a helluva lot better than Nojika and 2) Nojika and Starblaydia are both part of the leading alliance in the region: The Strategic Alliance of Autocratic States. Now, far be it from me to express any doubts about the consistency of Starblaydia drawing 1-1 to Nojika, but.. (This journalist has now been replaced, we apologise for the dicontinuity in writing styles - Ed). The Panthers finally won themselves a point against Starblaydi, making it third time lucky in a match run that stretches back, wait for it, thiry-six years! This is only the third time that Starblaydia have met Nojika, and it's the first of those times that Nojika have come away with anything other than no points. Back in AOCAF2, Starblaydia registered their first ever AOCAF match win with a 2-1 over Nojika in Vilita. Supersub Ahmed Ol-wairain, and soon-to-be manager Guylain N'Dumbu-Nsungu got the goals in that win. Fast forward twenty-four years and Starblaydia met Nojika again in AOCAF8 - just across the water in Druida. There, again, Starblaydia picked up the win courtesy of a first senior international goal from Itechton Matranga, a nineteen year-old substitute. Anyone figure out what happened to that guy? One thing we do know, however, is that Starblaydia went on to win that AOCAF. This time it was time for Nojika to spoil the Starblaydi Three-Point Party. Carlos Amoa, a young Rozier City midfielder, brought the Panthers back into top-of-the-group contention with a well-taken goal, seized upon after a mistake by Francisco Ibanez. Ibanex himself was booked for shoving Amoa during his celebrations, something which nearly kicked off a twenty-two man brawl. Fiery, that lad. Starblaydia had earlier taken the lead from subsitute Rabindrah Singh with his second international goal. Nojika look to be earning their current Second-Place spot, despite attention from longer-standing and more-impressive football nations such as Sarzonia, Lamoni and The Lowland Clans. Starblaydia's next match - against the Stars of Sarzonia - will probably decide the name of the Group Winner, though it's possible that the two rivals will proverbially slit each other's throats and allow Nojika to sneak up on the outside. Starblaydia 1 - 1 Nojika (Singh 56) - (Amoa 71)

Posted by: Falcania Nov 30 2005, 12:31 PM

Suicide rates soar as Falcons keep up losing record. Spirits in Falcania are at an all-time low following the Falcons' latest consecutive loss in the AOCAF championship. The Falcons, who are running the risk of being the only team in the championship yet to win a match, were bested today by Bedistan. Today's match started well, with Falcons wunderkind scoring an early blast at the keeper, who wasn't paying attention. However, things soon hotted up, as the vengeful strikers kept up a determined barrage at the defence. Jake Papas decided to bring off team newcomers Clapp and Suttcliffe and replace them with Andy Stanford and Ollie Fink, the reserve defenders, thus bringing in a hitherto unseen 7-2-1 formation. This soon broke, however, when Bedistan frontman David Fuzhou scrambled through Michael Smart and Phillip Gillams, resulting in both players crashing into each other and recieving a broken nose for their troubles, along with a goal. This was complemented further shortly after half-time when the substitutions for Smart and Gillams, attackers Tom Black and Gavin Poole, were flummoxed by Sally Dapper, who scored the second belter for Bedistan. After a trip, Andreas Papadolambakis was brought off due to injury, with nobody to replace him. Jake Papas could only bring his entire 9-man team back into defence and watch in despair as they were outclassed by Bedistan. Another goal scored signified the end of the match. As the Bettian street-cleaners wiped the bloody mass of suicidal Falcanians off the streets in front of The Gasworks, in Gabalfa, the Falcanian team returned to the hotel, hanging their heads in shame. Preliminary reports show that James Guy is sufficiently healed from his ordeal last match, and that the broken noses are nothing that won't be solved with a lot of sticking plasters. The twisted ankle suffered by Papadolambakis should wear off overnight. Tomorrow the Falcons face the toughest challenge yet, against hosts Bettia. Today was a shambles, and although many say that Bedistan have experience, the fact remains that today the best Falcania have to offer were annihilated by 11 old men. Final scores: Falcania 1 (Miller 12:27) Bedistan 3 (Fuzhou 31:47; Dapper 48:29; Fuzhou 87:17)

Posted by: Hypocria Nov 30 2005, 12:37 PM

AOCAF XI Super Shirko Sinks Saints Hypocria 5 - 1 Pastorville Shirko (3) Jenas Eagles After being shut out against Vilita the Hypocrian attack was itching for some goals as new boys Pastorville found out to their cost. Unsurprisingly, considering this is the Saints first AOCAF, it was the first meeting between the two sides and the final score line showed just how valuable experience can be as Pastorville conceded five goals for the second time in three matches. There was no question who was the outstanding player for the Hyppos. Veteran striker Andrei Shirko stole the show with a perfect hat trick, scoring first with his left foot, then his right and knocking in the third with a header. The first goal was really scrappy. Baxter whipped a corner into the penalty area, the defence made a hash of clearing and the ball dropped to the left foot of Shirko who stabbed it past the goalkeeper. The second came from the penalty spot after Marshall’s run was illegally ended. Shirko stepped up and, right footed this time, confidently beat the keeper. Young midfielder Hayden Jenas opened his account for the national side with the third goal. Marshall cut the ball back from the right flank and Jenas fired low and hard, from the edge of the box, across the keeper and into the net. Immediately after the restart the fans in Lorshill were treated to the goal of the game and it came from the side 3 - 0 down. Straight from the kick off the Saints but together a wonderfully incisive passing move which ended with Kindelan picking the ball out of the net, the first goal he had conceded in the competition. If that raised Pastorville spirits they were doused again seven minutes later when Shirko completed his hat trick with a near post header from Baxter’s freekick. With five minutes left Baxter sprung the offside trap with a pinpoint through ball and substitute Eagles raced away. The debutant coolly beat the keeper to mark his international debut with a goal to complete the rout. Across the city Vilita kept themselves on top of Group 3 with a 3 - 0 win over Chacor. They lead the Hyppos on goal difference. Krytenia dragged themselves back into contention with a narrow 1 - 0 victory over bottom nation Hockey Canada. With 6 points on offer there’s still plenty to play for. Hypocria head to Akani Sands next to take on Chacor, Vilita and Krytenia meet at the Stamping Ground in Lorshill and Hockey Canada will be hoping for their first points against Pastorville in Ravenhill Park, also in Lorshill. Matchday 3 Roundup Group 1 Bettia’s good run came to an end as the Aroras were beaten 1 - 0 by Turori which enabled Druida to overhaul the hosts and top Group 1 after a 2 - 0 win over Oliverry. Bedistan are still in contention after a 3 - 1 victory against struggling Falcania. Group 2 Defending champions Starblaydia stay top despite being held 1 - 1 by their SAAS allies Nojika. The Panthers remain in second after third placed Sarzonia were also held to a draw, 2 - 2 with the Lowland Clans. Lamoni were the biggest beneficiaries after their 1 - 0 win over Andossa Se Mitrin Vega moved them to within a point of both Sarzonia and Nojika. Group 4 The Lions of Nedalia kept the tournaments only 100% record intact with an entertaining 4 - 2 win over the Spruitland Wabbits. Milchama moved above Fmjphoenix, who didn’t play, into second after an impressive 1 - 0 against Crystilakere. Milchama are 2 points behind Nedalia but the Lions have a game in hand.

Posted by: Krytenia Nov 30 2005, 01:36 PM

AKANI LOSE NAE MORE, JIM! Krytenia 1 Hockey Canada 0 NOW we're talking. After two appaling performances, Ari Smith has pulled his struggling Jacks together and come up trumps thanks to a late goal from Ray Lausano (F***ing hell, he can score!! - Ed). A one-nil victory over Hockey Canada has effectively ended the HocCanucks' participation in the tournament, and lifted the Krytenians to third place. Their opponents in the next two games? The two sides above them. Watch out Vilita and Hypocria, the Jacks are back, and kicking some serious bottom(feeders - Ed).

Posted by: Pastorville Nov 30 2005, 05:07 PM

DEFENSE MIA The Pastorville Saints normally reliable defense that gave up no more than three goals in WC XXV qualifying has surrendered a handful of goals in two of their three matches in AOCAF XI. Where the Saints defense has gone is anybody's guess, but nobody seems to have any idea of where to go looking for it. If anybody finds the Saints defense they are asked to please return it to the Saints national team ASAP.

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Nov 30 2005, 06:22 PM

And the Streak Continues!!! Today the 1 point loss trend continued as the would-be upstart Sea Dragons failed to have any Hawk for dinner. In fact the squad looked kind of toothless as Lamoni beat them 1-0. Perhaps fortunes will change for the team, who knows at this point.

Posted by: Nedalia Nov 30 2005, 07:08 PM

The Nedalia Lions "B" Team looking "A" Class SUKATRA, BETTIA - The Nedalia Lions kept their winning record alive tonight with another dazzling offensive performance against WC bound Spruitland, defeating the Wabbits 4 - 2 infront of an estimated 40,000 Nedalian fans who had made the trip from the west. Although the Wabbits were able to strike first, the Lions countered with 4 goals (2 in the 1st half, 2 in the 2nd half) before Spruitland were able to score again late in extra time. Nedalia's southern neighbors across the sea got things rolling with a 7th minute strike that left Apex League based Hard Dans completely beat. It didnt take long for Honsfield Athletic's Hrjove Brando to equalize, scoring in the 11th minute off a deflection from a previous shot. Twenty minutes later, Brando struck again, this time after dribbling through 2 defenders and audociously chipping the ball over the Spruitland keeper to give Nedalia the lead. The offensive show didnt stop there. Early in the 2nd half (the 53rd minute to be exact), it was Bader Tayarra who nailed in the goal with a screaming shot that hit the back of the net with tremendous velocity. The Lions kept the pressure up, and it paid off again in the 78th minute, when 20 year old Houdini hit his second goal of the tournament to give Nedalia a commanding 4-1 lead. Spruitland's extra time consolation goal had no affect on the match, ending the game with a final score of 4-2. Again, the Nedalian defense stepped up admirably and defended their goal well. The first Spruitland goal was a shot that couldnt be stopped, and the second goal came in extra time when Nedalia had already had the match sealed. In between the two goals, the defenders were up to the challenge of a ferocious offense that could score at any moments notice. The Lions, however, were able to come through and continue their winning streak.

Posted by: Lamoni Nov 30 2005, 07:53 PM

Whole lotta rockin' goin' on! Lamoni's 1-0 victory over ASMV, coupled with Starblaydia, Nojika, Sarzonia, and TLC all being involved in draws, has moved the Hawks into fourth place in their group; just one point behind both Nojika and Sarzonia. The Hawks don't intend to waste the opportunity, either. They face Nojika next, and if they work hard and play their game, they just might be able to walk away with this one. The Hawks can jump into second place with victories against Sarzonia and Nojika, but let's not get ahead of ourselves here. John Towers scored the only goal of the match at 10 minutes in with a head-butt. The Hawks were worried that one goal might not be enough to put this one away, but the Lamonian defense kicked in and went the extra mile; denying ASMV's offense, and sealing the Lamonian victory. Lamoni - 1 John Towers (10) ASMV - 0 (none)

Posted by: Sarzonia Nov 30 2005, 10:34 PM

So much for the Battle of the Stars. Sarzonia and The Lowland Clans played each other to a 2-2 draw that was exciting in terms of goal scoring with Kyle Mason and Jon Hansen scoring the goals for Sarzonia. But even throughout what many fans would have thought was football entertainment at its finest, there was always one undercurrent that threatened to make the clash of Stars a footnote. A purple footnote. Starblaydia. There's no use getting around it. Sarzonia's Stars hate Starblaydia. The countries always seem on the brink of a diplomatic tete-a-tete and the region is consistently treated to male member waving by both nation's militaries, Starblaydia as the lead country of the Atlantian Oceania Regional Defence Organisation and Sarzonia with a navy known as a worldwide superpower. Now the gloves come off for real. Now there's no more speculation. It's time for the two teams considered the class of Group 2 to decide who's accomplishments mean more: Starblaydia's four AOCAF titles to Sarzonia's none or Sarzonia's Baptism of Fire Cup, Cup of Harmony, and World Cup trophies to no extra-regional honours for Starblaydia's national team. Defender and team captain Ettore Salivani dismissed talk of Francisco Ibanez's reputation as a thug, saying, "he plays in Spruitland's national league. How good can he be?" Salivani does have a point there. What passes for a top-flight national league in Spruitland isn't exactly anything to make the Woodstock Wild tremble with fear. The only thing they'd tremble about facing a team from that ragtag collection of weekend footballers is the chill from the cold day in Hell it would be before the Spruitland side ever defeated Woodstock. Hell, even the Portland Timbers could probably beat a team from Spruitland and the Timbers haven't won anything international since Kerry Tanner was their coach back in the day. So get your teles warmed up, keep the Blue Fox Ale or the Imperium Cola freshly imported from Praetonia cold, and get ready to watch the Stars and the Blades get it on. Purple people eaters and the Navy blue Stars. Should be loads of fun.

Posted by: Milchama Nov 30 2005, 11:24 PM

Alexandria Times-Post-Gazette-Chronicle-Tribune-Journal-Enquirer Sports Section Milchama Win?! That's right folks apparently the younguns are some of the best in the AO football world as they came in and shocked Crystialkere winning 1-0. The game itself is sure to go down in Milchamian as one of the best matches the Warriors have played in their young footballing history. Coach Patrice Thibault said, "Wow! That was a great game right from the opening kick to the final I was scared. That goal was something else a limping Albentine putting it away from 22 yards. I still don't believe it." Now onto the match report with one announcing bit in it because it is one of the best ever announcing bits in Milchamian history. The match started poorly for the Warriors who almost gave up goals in the first, second and third minutes but the great play of Clay Finton kept the game at goose eggs. Finton would again have an excellent this time making 8 saves and getting another shutout. After this initial surge of attacking by the Crystils the Warriors started to try to bog the ball down in the midfield with great success. Despite the boring play Milchama definitely held their own and almost scored in the 39th minute when Chuck Farenstein delivered a scary long range that the Crystils out of position keeper misjudged and almost led to a goal but he managed to find his way and barely tip the ball over the ball. The teams entered half time 0-0. The second half saw an attacking boom as the Cystils got two shots on net in the 47th and 48th minute. Both shots were saved easily by Finton. After that early the game again settled into play much like the first half with the Warriors bogging down the game in midfield and frusterating the Crystils. Soon Milchama found some holes in Crystilakere's defense. The most noticable was in the 84th when Marin Keffers found Floren Albentine on a run thru the right side. The Crystils tried to play up for the offside but failed and Albentine almost scored before he was ruthlessly kicked from behind by a defender. The defender got a yellow card and the game was delayed for one minute before Albentine could again rise to his feet. Despite his limp he stayed in the game and in the 87th minute he got an oppurtunity (now announcer Clark Gideon) 87th minute: Milchama again just passes the ball around in midfield. They just seem to be content with frusterating the Crystils and having a 0-0 draw. Its play like this that has kept the Warriors from scoring for over 180 minutes in this tournament so far. Now Farenstein gets the ball and sees Albentine going on a run or at least his best impression of a run since he got injured in the 84th minute. The Crystils again try to draw offside and now the pass by Farenstein Is Perfect and Albentine Stays On Side. Now he hobbles faster then the defenders but their catching he now launches a shot from about 22 yards away and iTS A GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!! I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW! An injured Floren Albentine beats the entire Crystilakere defense and shoots a 22 yard shot perfectly in the right corner. Just an unbelievable shot and one of the best goals we have had in a long time here in Milchama. I think this will go down in history for a long time. Final Score: Milchama 1 (Albentine 87) Crystilakere 0 (12 shots 8 on net)

Posted by: Nojika Dec 1 2005, 01:59 AM

Nojika Draws Vs Starblaydia They do say the third times a charm For the first time in Nojika's national football team's history, a draw was forced against veteran football nation, Starblaydia. The draw came late as midfielder captain, Carlos Amoa scored late in the 71st minute following a mistake by Francisco Ibanex. "I didn't think about the goal or the shot - it just sort of happened, just like in practice ," said Amoa after the match had ended. Could this be the kickstart Nojika needs to get into the international football scene? National team coach Randy Mulder certainly thinks so; "I have no doubt that these men can take this win and run with it," said Mulder. "Should we win this competition, or even go as far as the finals, it may be the confidence booster we need to compete on a larger more public scale." Next up for Nojika are the Hawks out of Lamoni. This will be the fourth time the two sides will face one another, and hopefully will be just as successfull as previous matches. In the third installment of the competetion, Nojika faced Lamoni twice, once coming away with 3 points after a 3 - 1 win and once forcing a 1 -1 draw on the final matchday. And in the sixth AOCAF competition, Nojika allowed Lamoni 2 goals in the 2nd round, which was enough to advance them to the quarter finals where they then fell to Starblaydia, 3 -1. "We've learned from the past what they like to do and how they play. We've also learned that we do not want to allow Lamoni to come out victorious against us again," said Mulder. Nojika will face off against Lamoni with a fierce starting line that has forced draws against top nations Starblaydia and Sarzonia, and whom are confident and prepared for anything the Hawks might throw at them. "They were only able to draw against The Lowland Clans, whom we beat; and had 3 goals forced against them during their match against Starblaydia, whom we forced a 1 - 1 draw," said Nojikan captain Carlos Amoa. "We're confident that our skills and abilities will prove we are the better competitors and athletes and allow us to produce the goals we will need to come out victorious. This is our game, and our chance to shine." "We're just going to do what we do, play our game, and stay strong throughout this competition," said Amoa before leaving a post game conference. As Amoa said, Nojika is prepared to do what they must to win this important match, while also being sure to just play the game they love. The final score of the Nojika vs Starblaydia match; Starblaydia 1 - 1 Nojika (Singh 56) - (Amoa 71)

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 1 2005, 09:44 AM

Stars still can't crack Blades code The matchup between Sarzonia and Starblaydia was every bit as fierce as promised, but instead of deciding which team would carry Group 2 in the 11th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football, the only thing the match determined was that Francisco Ibanez is a thug of "epic proportions," according to Coach Brett Hancock. "I'm thinking of filing assault charges on that thing," Hancock snarled after the game. "If he ever sets foot in Sarzonia, he'll have an arrest warrant on his bum faster than you can say 'goal' in Rejistanian." The Starblaydis started out of the gates looking for all the world as if they would blow Sarzonia's second choice national team out of the water early. They got goals from Ibanez while he was still pretending to be a football player (11th minute) and from Raul Diaz-Arca in the 19th minute, but Ibanez brutally tackled defender Ettore Salivani in the 23rd minute even though the ball was on the left side of the pitch and Salivani was on the right side. Unfortunately for Ibanez, the referee saw the tackle and issued him a yellow card. Salivani argued for a red card and Ibanez punched him in the mouth, drawing an immediate red card -- and retaliation from the Stars. Hancock charged onto the pitch and leveled Ibanez with a tackle worthy of a gridball linebacker. The resulting brawl resulted in both sides playing with nine players as the Bettian referee only showed four additional red cards, three to retaliating Sarzonians. Hancock was one of those sent off, leaving assistant coach Geoff Blaine in charge. Blaine took advantage of the ten minutes spent sorting out the red card situation to exort his team to play smart football. The Stars answered their assistant coach's cajoling with goals. Five minutes before the halftime whistle, forward Christy Cartwright scored her first international goal to halve the deficit. Three minutes into the second half, Brian Williams scored the equaliser, and that was how the match ended, with both teams dead even on the pitch and a rivalry only intensified. Following the final whistle with the scoreline reading Starblaydia 2:2 Sarzonia, the teams had to be separated from each other by security personnel as players tried to go after each other once again. Salvani finally got his revenge on Ibanez, kicking him in the groin. One Stars player said after the game that, "perhaps we should contact those Xilian buggers to 'rub out' the Starblaydis." "Those Goddamn Starblaydis ain't on my Christmas card list, that's for damn sure," Salivani said after the game. "Ibanez can kiss my Pacitalian bum." Starblaydia 2:2 Sarzonia (Ibanez 11, Diaz-Arca 19) (Cartwright 40, Williams 48)

Posted by: Nojika Dec 1 2005, 01:02 PM

Nojika Falls to the Hawks Head coach Randy Mulder furious At a conference just after todays match, Nojikan national team head coach Randy Mulder was available for a short few questions - though, it was apparent he didn't want to be bothered at all. "I've no idea what the hell just happened. But I'll be damned if I let this team lose like that again," said Mulder. When asked about his previous comments regaurding the possibility of Nojika stepping up to play football at an internation level, Mulder's views were again quite clear - "There is absolutely no way I would let these men play football at that level. If we find ourselves losing to teams like Lamoni, all we are going to do is embarrass ourselves in front of the entire world. So no, we will not being playing international football anytime soon." All this comes after Nojika loses 0 - 2 against Lamoni, whom they believed they would be victorious over and, so long as Starblaydia and Sarzonia forced a draw, move into 1st in the group. Players, coaches, and fans alike all grew more angry once they had read the results of the Starblaydia vs Sarzonia game, realizing that they had tied and that Nojika had the oppurtunity to move into first. "Things were going great. We forced draws against Starblaydia and Sarzonia, beat The Lowland Clans - but now, we have to essentially start over because of this match," said Nojikan goalkeeper Krystoff Kahn. Next up for the Panthers are Andossa Se Mitrin Vega, whom have yet to win a match, drew against The Lowland Clans and lost their first three matches. Assuming Nojika will come out victorious over A.S.M.V., and that all other results go in favor of Nojika, the Panthers have the oppurtunity to still qualify for the second round, and even have the chance to capture first place in the group. The final score of the Nojika vs Lamoni match; Nojika: 0 - 2 :Lamoni (n/a) - (Boldman 29, Boyd 53)

Posted by: Starblaydia Dec 1 2005, 03:06 PM

THUGS! Brawl turns Ibanez into pariah Starblaydia Vs Sarzonia is fast becoming one of the sporting rivalries in the world today (while others would say the two nations are fast becoming rivals in other, more 'important' aspects), as proven by today's AOCAF Group Match in Bettia. Francisco Ibanez, Starblaydia's 20 year-old Right-Back, was first the hero then quickly the villain of the show as he both scored Starblaydia's opener and was the first of five first-half sendings-off. First, the goal: With Starblaydia encamped around the Stars' penalty area just past the 10-minute mark, the Starblaydi team were finding it difficult to break through the determined Sarzonian defence. A square ball out wide from Aquilera was seized upon by Ibanez, who jinked past an oncmoing tackler - Joseph Simms - before firing into the top left corner of the net. Things got better before they got worse for Starblaydia, Raul Diaz-Arca making the most of a defence-splitting through-ball from Lazaro Rivera, slotting the ball past Tolliver with a flick from the outside of his right boot. With just twenty minutes played and two goals up, Starblaydia were looking like automatic Group Winners. Then, however, Paulo Bachchan's apprentice managed to live up to the great (depending on your point of view, of course) man. With the play switched to the opposite side, Ibanez suddenly lashed out at Sarzonian Captain Ettore Salivani, hacking down the Pacitalian-born player at the knee while the ball was a good thirty or forty yards away. The referee, having only had half an eye on the situation, showed Ibanez a yellow card. Salivani, however, made the 'give him a card' gesture, something which incenses Starblaydis at the best of times, and this was perhaps the worst. Ibanez promtly swung a fist at Salivani, catching him fairly and squarely on the side of the mouth. What followed then was complete and utter chaos, which lasted for over ten minutes. Before the referee had even managed to get his red card out, Sarzonian players had already begun shoving and swinging at Ibanez. White-clad Starblaydis quickly intervened, but not before the Sarzonian Head Coach had rugby-tackled Ibanez, half his age, to the ground. Quite rightly, Hancock was sent off along with two of his players, though Augusto Diaz also received his marching orders after an assault on the first thing in a navy shirt he could get his hands on. After the teams had settled down, somewhat, a whole raft of 'tactical' substitutions were made - particularly in Starblaydia's case thanks to their Right-Midfielder and -Back leaving the field. Dane Jaeger came on for Justin Hawke, giving Starblaydia a back-three-plus sweeper combinaton, while Christian Macia was brought off for Georges Blanc. Starblaydia's new 1-3-3-1 formation didn't, however, manage to hold its own with the Sarzonian nine-man team either. On the stroke of 40 minutes played, Christy Cartwright (sounds like a porn star) scored Sarzonia's first goal, dragging them back into the match while deflating Starblaydia. So furious was the match by this point that the referee ignored the fourth official's suggestion of 6 minutes of added time, blowing the whistle actually a few seconds before the 45th minute was up and half-time was due. The second half didn't get much better as Sarzonia had scored again within 180 seconds, Brian Williams netting the qualiser. Starblaydia soon brought on veteran striker Michalis Mitrofanis to replace Diaz-Arca, hoping that the Nemyan's vision and footballing brain would aid the cause of the men in white. It can be said that this move was successful, as Sarzonia didn't socre for the remainder of the match. The fact the Mitrofanis didn't score either, however, meant that the match ended 2-2 - though with another fight in the tunnel. It's unclear as to who won that one, though. A score draw, maybe. Sarzonia 2 - 2 Starblaydia (Cartwright 40, Williams 48) - (Ibanez 11, Diaz-Arca 19)

Posted by: Pastorville Dec 1 2005, 03:07 PM

SAINTS DON'T FIGHT AGAINST HOCKEY CANADA The Pastorville Saints' stay in their first AOCAF tournament did not last long at all, and left the team with some demons to chase off before CoH XVII in their ally Praying2God's nation. The Saints defense has yet to be found, as Hockey Canada routed the Saints 0-4 to eliminate the Saints from any remote possibility of qualifying. The Saints hope to find their defense in Chacor, where they will play their final match of AOCAF XI. This has certainly been a learning experience for the Saints, and hopefully their lessons will come to bear fruit in WX XXVI, if not CoH XVII.

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 1 2005, 03:12 PM

AOCAF XI Chacor Shocker Hypocria 2 - 2 Chacor Marshall Shirko A win against Chacor would have paved the way into the next round quite nicely but a shocking error from the Hyppos defence in the dying minutes gifted their opponents an equaliser that ensured that Group 3 wouldn’t be decided until the final round of games. The defensive lapse that enabled Chacor’s big centre back to rise unmarked and power a header past Kindelan from a corner for the match’s opener proved to be a sign of things to come. A nice individual effort from Ashley Marshall brought the scores level. The Partizan Drissa winger cut in from the right flank, beat a defender and then the goal keeper with a curling effort. And when Shirko finished off a flowing move with a low drive past the keeper Hyppos fans were confident their side would progress from the group for the third time in three tournaments. But with time running out Golla played a loose back pass, an attacker latched on to it and beat the advancing Kindelan with ease. Vilita’s superior goal difference keeps the Jungle Cats top of the group after a 1 - 1 draw with Krytenia and in the other match Pastorville’s defence went missing once more as the Saints shipped four more goals, this time to the Canucks of Hockey Canada. With one match to go Vilita and Hypocria are level at the top with 8 points each. Krytenia and Chacor are both 3 points behind. Conceivably all four teams could finish the group stage on level points. Basically Vilita and Hypocria both need a point to guarantee a place in the next round. Vilita’s superior goal difference and an easier fixture, against already eliminated Hockey Canada, makes the Jungle Cats favourite to win the group. Hypocria have a much tricky match against Krytenia who need to at least equal Chacor’s result to qualify. Then there’s goal difference to watch out for and with Chacor up against a very generous Pastorville defence, that has conceded 15 goals in 4 matches, anything could happen. Matchday 4 Roundup Group 1 One match to go and it’s still all to play for in Group 1 with just 2 points separating the top four sides. Hosts Bettia lead the way on 9 points after a 2 - 1 win over Falcania but Druida are just a point behind after finishing 1 - 1 with Turori who themselves are still right in the frame with 7 points to their name. Bedistan too are in the mix after their 2 - 1 win over Oliverry moved the Lions level with Turori. And the final day fixtures? Well naturally Bettia face Druida and Bedistan take on Turori in what will be a thrilling final day in Group 1. Oliverry’s haul of 3 points means they are no longer in contention and Falcania are pointless but you probably knew that already. Group 2 The champions are still top but are making slow progress after a second draw in succession, this time 2 - 2 with Sarzonia. Lamoni again took advantage with a 2 - 0 victory over Nojika to move just a point behind Starblaydia. Andossa Se Mitrin Vega finally got a point after holding the Lowland Clans to a 1 - 1 stalemate but it was too little too late for the Sea Dragons who are eliminated. With a match against the Clansmen up next the Purple Peril look favourites to win the group. Lamoni and Sarzonia face each other in a huge game. Draws have been plentiful in Group 2 and Nojika could well sneak into the second round if the Hawks and Stars cancel each other out on the final day. Group 4 Group 4 is much more straight forward. Nedalia have won the group despite still having a match to play and Milchama, who don’t play, have already secured second place. The only question is who will join them. Crystilakere currently occupy third place on 3 points but are only ahead of Fmjphoenix on goal difference. Spruitland have a single point but still could take third with a win over the Crystils and a Nedalian victory over Fmjphoenix. Simple really.

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Dec 1 2005, 04:56 PM

A Point Is A Point!!! ASMV finally achieved a point today against TLC. And while the squad is officially eliminated, spirits are soaring. "This is a huge accomplishment for us!" said Carrie Sessom, who once again scored the only goal(83rd minute) for ASMV. Now the Sea Dragons have their sights set on Nojika. Nothing would make the squad, and country, happier than spoiling hopes for that team right now.

Posted by: Lamoni Dec 1 2005, 10:46 PM

We're looking good! The Hawks stuck it to the Nojikan squad with a 2-0 victory, moving Lamoni to second place in group two; and putting them a single point behind group leaders Starblaydia. The two Lamonian goals came from Boldman at 29 minutes, and Boyd at 53 minutes. The same Lamonian defense (backed up by superb goaltending) that held off ASMV again stood their ground and utterly denied the Nojikans even a glimmer of hope in the match. The Lamonian players later watched the Nojikan coach's post match remarks; and you could hear the laughter as the team all but rolled around on the ground while laughing. The Hawks face Sarzonia next, and this match will determine whether Lamoni, Sarzonia, or Nojika can lay a secure claim to the second and third place spots. Although, the group is tight enough that a Lamonian win coupled with either a Starblaydi loss or draw would securely land the Hawks in first place. Results can also go for any of the other three top four teams in the group, of course; but all of Lamoni will be cheering the Hawks on in their match against the same Sarzonians that the Starblaydis claimed were 'boring.' Who will advance to the next round? We shall have to wait and see. Lamoni - 2 Boldman (29), Boyd (53) Nojika - 0 (none)

Posted by: The Lowland Clans Dec 2 2005, 03:47 AM

GRAHAM CITY SUN - Sports Section Draws abound, failure to beat ASMV kills chance to qualify BETTIA - While not mathematically eliminated, the Stars are once again unofficially eliminated from the AOCAF XI. While we would have to beat Starblaydia, win by at least two goals ("Hey you, stop laughing back there!") and have ASMV and Lamoni both defeat their opponents. So yeah, read between the lines, and you can guess the results. If there's anything in our history as a footballing nation, it's this: wedon't win jack freaking squat. Even when we're in the top ten in the world, we don't win jack-freaking-squat. Anyways, We should actually be quite please with a tie against Sarzonia, one of the best teams in the world, by anybodies damned record. Our team, beginning to get marginally better under Westley Stjepan. With rumors about Dauna Hills being withdrawn in favor of our team at the Cup of Harmony, this could be the chance for our team to shine. But once again, we fail where we should succeed. After a blown goal by Dylan Hughes, ASMV had it's fair share of ball posession. After the game, center back Carson Lindsay said this, "Listen, we bloody well should have won that game, but we played like -explicitive removed-e and we gave it away. Now we just have to play our hardest against the Blades and hope things turn out all right." THE LOWLAND CLANS - 1 Blythe (52nd) ANDOSSA SE MITRIN VEGA - 1 Sessom (83rd)

Posted by: Starblaydia Dec 2 2005, 07:32 AM

Ibanez: The Whole Story Starblaydia's bad boy gives exclusive interview By 'Scoop' Rangarsson It's with some trepidation that I entered the hotel room to sit down and chat with Francisco Ibanez, the latest flash point for a long and increasingly bitter Sarzo-Starblaydi feud. What I find is a smiling young man, dressed in a kind of smart-casual hoodie and tracksuit combination. 'Ask me anything,' he'd said on the phone, 'but I think I know what you'll wanna know.' Not like that's a piece of telepathy, or anything, as thanks to the huge brawl on Matchday Four, 'Cisco Ibanez found himself with a yellow and then a straight red card within twenty-five minutes, despite having got on the scoresheet just after the tenth minute. 'The only thing I'm not proud of is when that bastard [Ettore Salivani] kicked me in the nuts - that's just pathetic. Fair play to his coach, though, that was a good tackle.' But what, I asked, caused it in the first place? Why did he suddenly hack down the Sarzonian Captain in open play? 'I asked him if the match was exciting enough for him yet, as they were two-nil down. He said something about that it was exciting to win something outside of AO, which we supposedly hadn't ever done. So I said "This is for the fourteenth Under-21 Cup and the Second Four Nations Inviational, as well as the Daii in the Champions' League." Three football things, we've won outside the region. So I took him down.' Makes sense, really, when you think about it. But did he really have to punch Salivani? 'Of course I bloody did, the gaffer [former Lepus FC coach Paulo Bachchan] would have cuffed me ear if I hadn't. Asking for another player to get a card of either colour, especially a red one, is just really low. I mean, you can call something you think is a foul to the referee's attention, but I - and most Starblaydi players - find asking for a card to be about the lowest thing you can do in a football match. So I chinned him.' We've all seen the brawl they had during and after the game, in fact it was almost like a football match broke out during the fight. It also resulted in Augusto Diaz being sent off for Starblaydia, along with two Sarzonian players and their Head Coach. 'Me an' Gus [Augusto Diaz] hang out together when we're not playing in the Spruitland League - we're good mates, so I wasn't surprised to see him defending me. I think I even saw Ossy [Oswald Perheira of Veger United] throw a left hook or two when the guys on the bench started a bit of a barney. He was in the thick of it in the tunnel, too.' The impression you get from Ibanez is that he's a young, confident man. Yes, he has his somewhat agressive tendencies, but in Starblaydia we like our players to be hard but fair. Play hard, tough, and agressive, by all means, just don't cheat. He freely admits to losing his temper more often than is necessary, but when you're plucked from the toughest streets of Jhanna and put into a football team it's not too difficult to see why he chins arrogant Sarzo-Pacitalian bastards. Admittedly, the World Cup Triple-Crown is an excellent achievement, but the only reason the World Cup 'belongs' in Sarzonia is because it'll be in Atlantian Oceania. And, to be fair to both sides (kinda) Starblaydia's Sporting Honours: Football: 4x AOCAF Titles (joint-record) 1x Under-21 World Cup 1x Four Nations' Invitational 1x NS Champions' League Ice Hockey: 4x Cherry Cups (record) Sarzonia's Sporting Honours: Football: 1x World Cup 1x Cup of Harmony 1x Baptism of Fire Other: Baseball/American Football, maybe? But really, who cares about sports like that?

Posted by: Nedalia Dec 2 2005, 09:04 AM

The Nedalia Lions Yep, We Got Screwed You glide through the group stages, you win in style, your defence does its job, and you even gloat about your qualification on the AO NS site....and the reward? Either Turori or Sarzonia. Superb. Thats the fate that awaits the Lions after going undefeated in the Group stages of the most prestigious regional tournament around, and qualifying as the leaders of Group 4. The Lions have faced both teams before, with all the matches against coming in previous AOCAF tournaments. Against Turori, Andrew Blod (currently with the main squad in the CoH) who gave the Lions a 1-0 in the AOCAF IX quarter-finals. Against Sarzonia, one would have to go back to AOCAF VIII to witness the 3-1 loss the Lions experienced against the Stars, with badboy Mattan scoring their only goal. This time around, Nedalia has a core that seems to know whats its doing, with the defence pretty much doing what it needed to win games. The offense has been flowing steady as well, with 11 goals in 4 games during the group stages. Bader Tayarra, who happens to be based in Bettia, has felt right at home, banging in 3 goals in those 4 games. Hrjove Brando of Honsfield Athletic hit that brace against Spruitland, and the midfield has provided the rest of the goals. But now, the competition has taken a step up. The Stars drew against Starblaydia, despite the fight that couldve been sold on PPV, and Turori are not exactly the easiest team to match up against. The 2nd Round matchup do provide exciting matchups other than Turori vs. Sarzonia, with Lamoni facing Nedalia's northern neighbors Krytenia in the most intense matchup of the rest. Hypocria will face Crystilakere, a team the Lions defeated 2-1 in the group stages, and Milchama, who fell 3-0 infront of the Lions, will face host and our dear friends Bettia. Thousands of Nedalians are expected to attend that match to cheer their eastern neighbors on in Nedalia's home away from home, Akani Sands. [Edit: the (Sarzonian) Stars drew to Starblaydia - Star

Posted by: Pastorville Dec 2 2005, 11:33 AM

SAINTS END CHACOR'S CHANCES WITH DRAW In a stunning turn of events, the Pastorville Saints proved to be the spoilers of Chacor's chance to qualify in AOCAF XI. The Saints apparently located their defense just long enough to earn a 1-1 draw. Reverend Harris scored the equalizer in the 59th minute, and then the Saints hung on for dear life. Just before the match ended, scores trickled in from the other Group 3 matches, so Chacor knew they needed to win. They promptly redoubled their efforts, but Reverend Smith finally proved to be up to the task in the net. The Saints will now focus on trying to regain some momentum in CoH XVII before WC XXVI commences.

Posted by: Falcania Dec 2 2005, 11:59 AM

It all ends in tears for Falcania. Not necessarily theirs. For the first time in this competition, Falcania has won a match. The other 5 were lost, including yesterdays match which was not publicised in honour of the millions of fans who committed suicide shortly afterwards. Finally, Falcania bounced back into action with a magnificent victory against Oliverry. The classic starting lineup lined up, knowing full well that the outcome of this match could go one of two ways: loss, resulting in eternal shame; or victory, resulting in redemption. Morale had been replaced with desperation, which was the perfect recipe for an exciting match, especially noting the Falcon's tendency to literally fight their way out of a predicament. Oliverry had a poor start, being denied every attempt on goal that came their way. Papadolambakis had fully recovered from his broken nose and slid through the Oliverry striker, resulting in a skilful through ball to wunderkind Miller, who annihilated the goalie. At half-time the outlook was looking good. Midfielder Jonny Mayhew scored the second controversial goal by sprinting ahead of Miller, who smacked the ball into the box, only to be recieved by Mayhew who punched the goalie in the face and scored when the ref wasn't looking. The referee allowed the goal and let the punch go unpunished. The Oliverrian players responded in kind, resulting in a fight which erupted into a small war when the fans, coaches and even the linesmen entered. The referee blew the 90 minutes whistle 15 minutes later after fly-kicking Jake Papas in the head. The match was officially declared abandoned after every player recieved a red card, but Bettian officials say the points count anyway. Although this tournament was a fiasco for the Falcons, it can definitely be said they went out with a bang. Final scores: Falcania 2 (Miller 38:52; Mayhew 74:21) Oliverry 0

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 2 2005, 01:22 PM

Stars, Hawks close out first stage Ceffinton, BETTIA (ASP) -- After a brawl between the Sarzonian and Starblaydi national teams led to the send offs of two Stars players and head coach Brett Hancock, assistant coach Geoff Blaine found himself having to piece together a starting 11 with forward Kyle Mason and midfielder Peter Green sitting out due to red cards during the match. Defender Ettore Salivani also sat for "disciplinary reasons," according to Blaine, for his attack of Starblaydi defender Francisco Ibanez after the match. That left defender George Conway wearing the captain's armband for the match with Lamoni, a fixture which saw Sarzonia play in Heol Angharyd in front of mostly their supporters interspliced with some Bettian neutrals. When Incorporated Football Federation Chairman Terry Mangione inquired why the Bettian supporters took the sections reserved Hawks supporters, the Bettians told him, "they're Lamoni. They can't afford the airfare or the match tickets with their crap economy." So with that backdrop, the Stars slipped out of Ceffinton with their fourth draw in the five match group stage, 1-1 to Lamoni. The team finished one point behind Lamoni in third place in the group despite winning only their match against Andossa Se Mitrin Vega. But for the Stars, who get Hancock back for the second round matchup against Turori, they will take the draw against a Lamoni side that played surprisingly well in this tournament. "Oh yeah," Blaine said. "When you're playing without three stalwarts of your top 11 and your coach is suspended, you'll take whatever you can get." The Stars (1-4-0, seven points) face Turori (3-1-1, 10 points) in the second round and the Stars have history to live up to: They've never lost to the Eels, even though their colonial masters in Vilita have only lost once to the Stars. But the lone Sarzonian victory over Vilita was a 2-0 victory that sent shockwaves throughout Atlantian Oceania. "We've got to get back to just playing football," Hancock said after the match. "Enough distractions. Let's play the game." Sarzonia 1:Lamoni 1 (Williams 28) (Boldman 56)

Posted by: Krytenia Dec 2 2005, 02:05 PM

SQUEAKING IT Krytenia 1 Vilita 1 Krytenia 3 Hypocria 1 Four points means third place for the Jacks, and a berth in the second round repechage. Their opponents, Lamoni, have been very convincing in Bettia, but now that Krytenia are away from the Sands they will be hopeful of causing what could effectively be an upset. This side may not be on their way to becoming finalists like the AOCAF VII vintage, but they are looking for places in the senior side. All to play for then...

Posted by: Starblaydia Dec 2 2005, 03:01 PM

Starblaydia Slide Into First Tricksy Nixey bags two on debut With a somewhat new-look team, thanks to suspensions from the last match, Starblaydia lined up against their neighbours from the Allied States. And, wouldn't you know it, a player born and brought up (mostly) in Legalese gave the white-and-purples the edge over the white-and-sorta-pastel-blues. Thomas Nixon, better known as 'Tricksy Nixey', lit up the Liverpool England Football League at the age of just thirteen. Honestly, thirteen. Apparently there was a mix-up with his passport and the printing made it look like his was actually seventeen. Whatever the circumstances, Nixey came on as a substitute and scored both of Starblaydia's goals. Not only was it his first international cap, Nixey has actually never even played an Under-21 game for Starblaydia, and already he has two goals to his name, good lad. Starblaydia's reward for an undefeated Group Stage is a Quarter-Final berth against the winner of Hypocria and Crystilakere. We at the Jhanna Chronicle are unsure as to whether we'd prefer the Hyppos or the Crystils. Hypocria dumped Starblaydia out of AOCAF9 on that penalties debacle, while Crystilakere are always dangerous, especially that Ferarro guy who scores headers off corners. Starblaydia 2 - 0 The Lowland Clans (Ibanez 11, Diaz-Arca 19) - (None)

Posted by: Lamoni Dec 2 2005, 06:09 PM

We'll take it The Hawks played a somewhat relaxed match against Sarzonia, drawing 1-1. This result; when coupled with a Starblaydi win and Nojikan loss, means that the Hawks have come out second in group two. As a matter of fact, the Hawks have played so well in the group stages that both Sarzonian and Krytenian news outlets have been fairly complementary in their descriptions of our performance. Getting back to the Sarzonian match, it was looking bad for Lamoni after Sarzonia's Williams scored at 28 minutes. It wasn't until reserve forward Mike Boldman scored at 56 minutes in that Lamonian fans (who were watching the game on TV, or listening to it on the shortwave radio) began to breathe again. Both defensive sides then dominated the match, and when time ran out, both teams knew that they were going on to the knockouts (the Starblaydi and Nojikan results being posted during the match). While Sarzonia faces off against Turori in a match that they are expected to win, the Hawks are facing Krytenia. Lamoni has faced Krytenia in both the WC and the AOCAF, and also have a very good chance of winning the second round match. If Lamoni defeats Krytenia, they would face off against Druida. While Druida and Lamoni have little experience with one another in the AOCAF, we feel that the Hawks would stand a good chance of winning that match as well. All in all, things are looking up for Lamoni thus far. Lamoni - 1 Boldman (56) Sarzonia - 1 Williams (28)

Posted by: Andossa Se Mitrin Vega Dec 3 2005, 04:16 AM

Sea Dragons End Nojikan Hopes The second squad from ASMV entered the match today with just one goal in mind -end Nojika's slim hope of qualifying. And to their own surprise, they did just that. The match was one valient defensive effort by first one squad and then the other. All signs pointed to a draw. That did not change until the final seconds of stoppage time when Carrie Sessom beat the Nojikan keeper when his footing slipped. That allowed the few inches of space needed to net the ball for the win.

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 3 2005, 02:12 PM

AOCAF XI Hyppos Through Hypocria 1 - 3 Krytenia Shirko Yes we lost but in the grand scheme of things it didn’t really matter as Vilita were never going to drop points against Hockey Canada so second place was the best we could hope for. And second place was what we got. Naturally it would have been nice to end the group stages unbeaten but against a higher ranked Krytenia side who desperately needed all 3 points that proved slightly difficult. In the end the Jacks got the points they needed relatively comfortably with only Andrei Shirko’s goal, his fifth of the tournament, providing any real excitement for Hypocria fans. Despite the defeat the Hyppos finished above their opponents on goal difference, largely thanks to that five goal drubbing of Pastorville earlier in the tournament. The only other team with a chance of qualification was Chacor who needed a big win over Pastorville to have any real hope. Unfortunately the Saints weren’t in so charitable a mood and held Chacor 1 - 1. In the end Vilita, as predicted, finished comfortably on top and progress straight to the quarter finals. Hypocria and Krytenia also qualify but must play in the second round. Chacor finished fourth and Pastorville’s point was good enough to move them into fifth at the expense of Hockey Canada. Second Round Preview The perk of finishing second in the group is that you get to play some crappy third placed team in the second round. Right? Except that the crappy third placed team Hypocria have drawn just happen to be former World Champions and the region’s fourth ranked side Crystilakere. The Hyppos and Crystils have faced each other three times in the past, twice in World Cup 24 qualifiers and once at AOCAF IX. The spoils were shared in the qualifiers with a 2 - 1 win for the Hyppos in Hypocrium and a 4 - 0 victory for the Crystils in their home fixture. A goalless draw in the AOCAF does little to tip the balance. In all depends on which Crystilakere turns up on the day. If they play like the fourth ranked side in the region then the silent but deadly Crystilakere will be favourites to advance. But the Crystils are not in the best of form and actually have the worst record of all the sides still in the competition with just 4 points from their four group games. With a high profile quarter final against AOCAF champions Starblaydia up for grabs and hopefully some vocal support in Butetown’s old fashioned Alice Street stadium behind them Hypocria’s players will certainly give everything they’ve got.

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 5 2005, 09:59 AM

Stars snap out of funk, 3-0 Tamrida, Bettia (ASP) -- Turns out the Turori Eels were all the Sarzonian national football team needed to return to form after earning only one victory in five group stage matches. Sarzonia played its best match of the 11th Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association football, getting goals from forward Kyle Mason, midfielder Peter Green, and forward Brian Williams and a five save effort from goalkeeper Marty Tolliver and Brett Hancock settled in nicely after serving his one match suspension in the Stars' 3-0 win over Turori in the second round of the AOCAF tourament. "Our lads did a tremendous job of focusing out there," Hancock said. "It felt good for us to get back and I bet Geoff [Blaine, the team's assistant coach] felt good to have the full roster available to us." Ettore Salivani, the team captain who was at the centre of the controversy with Starblaydi defender Francisco "The Terrible" Ibanez, apologised to his team after he "behaved in a matter not befitting a team captain," and said he resigned his team captaincy after the match against Lamoni. Defender George Conway wore the captain's armband for the second consecutive match and was announced as the team's captain for the remainder of the AOCAF tournament. "George doesn't get rattled. He doesn't let his temper get the best of him," Salivani said. "I did, and that's my fault." For Turori, the loss to the Stars starts a long offseason of soul-searching that results from losing to an opponent who seemingly has their number, but the Stars to a man say they're focused on their matchup against Nedalia in the quarterfinals. "Nedalia have proved to be an excellent side and Brent Vent did a tremendous job of getting that programme off to a great start in the Under 21s," Hancock said. "As far as Turori goes, we know how they feel because we still have yet to beat Rejistania in a match that counts for something. Nedalia is going to be a great test for us and we have enormous respect for the Nedalians."

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 5 2005, 04:26 PM

AOCAF XI Crystils Shattered Hypocria 1 - 0 Crystilakere Shirko (p) Hypocrian football is on something of a high at the moment. First an impressive World Cup qualifying campaign may have ended in disappointment as the Hyppos failed to qualify but they could count themselves very unlucky after finishing with a record that would have ensured a trip to Kaze Progressa or Audioslavia in a number of other qualifying groups. Over in Praying2God the Cup of Harmony squad have won their opening two matches. The nation’s two representatives both qualified from the group stages of the AO Champions League. And now the AOCAF side have qualified for the quarter finals for the second time in three tournaments. And the second round was no easy task as the Hyppos took on former World Champions and current fourth ranked side in the region, Crystilakere. Hypocria’s group games had been relatively open affairs which sometimes favoured the Hyppos, the rout of Pastorville springs to mind, and sometimes didn’t, such as being turned over by Krytenia, but this second round game was a world away from that attacking style of play. This game was scrappy and subdued as both teams concentrated on not conceding rather than focusing on scoring. The match hinged on one second half incident as Liberda made a rare incursion into the Crystilakere box and was up ended. The referee didn’t hesitate and pointed to the penalty spot. Veteran striker Andrei Shirko stepped up and slotted in his sixth goal of the tournament and his thirtieth international goal overall to seal Hypocria’s passage into the last eight. Elsewhere in the second round world number ones Sarzonia showed some ominous form with a comfortable 3 - 0 over Turori and will be looking to continue in that vein against Nedalia in the next round. The home fans are still cheering as Bettia edged past Milchama by the odd goal in five. The Aroras reward is a tough quarter final with two time AOCAF champions Vilita. Krytenia versus Lamoni was even closer with only penalties ensuring that the Jacks advance to face their former World Cup co-hosts Druida in the quarters. Quarter Final Preview And who do we face? Why defending champions Starblaydia of course. And not for the first time. Eight years ago Hypocria met defending champions Starblaydia in the quarter finals and actually ended the Purple Peril’s campaign to retain their title. And now we have a chance to do it again. As already mentioned the Hyppos have a winning record against the men in mauve thanks to that AOCAF upset eight years ago but there have been other favourable results recently too. In the AO CL Hyper League champions Hypocrium City took four points off Jhanna City in their group which included a win in the Starblaydi capital and in the World Cup qualifiers Hypocria denied the Starblaydi dependency Nova Britannicus top spot in the group after holding the Bluebirds to a goalless draw on the final day. Ok, that last one’s a bit of a stretch but we’re clutching at straws here. So we’re off to Grappenhall’s Campus Ground with a place in the last four at stake. At this point we were going to say that surely this would be the closest any of Starblaydia’s players had ever been to a university and perhaps being so close to an institute of learning might put them off a bit. Unfortunately they’ve ruined that argument by playing every one of their group games in that very stadium. But with Bettia set to face Starblaydia in the World Cup hopefully the Hyppos can rely on some vocal home support. Maybe, just maybe that will inspire Hypocria’s players to another famous win.

Posted by: Nedalia Dec 5 2005, 04:29 PM

The Nedalia Lions Lions vs. Stars Unsuprisingly, the Lions now find themselves facing the Sarzonia Stars in the Quarter-Finalists of the AOCAF Cup. The runners ups of the AOCAF X will play what will most likely be their biggest game of this cup, and they are under no illusions about what type of game this is going to be. "The Sarzonians play smart and they play cool. They might not always get the most entertaining matches, but the results speak for themselves. If you try to run them over, you'll just find yourself trying to bring down an immovable brick wall. We've played well thus far, and our offense has been flowing smoothly, but I worry about how our defense will be able to handle the Sarzonian offense. We've been spending practices going over every possible offensive sequence they might throw at us, so we have no excuse," commented manager Gromer. The Stars stumbled through the Group stages, but showed what they were all about when they defeated Turori 3-0 in the 2nd Round. The clash between these two friends will be a most entertaining one, but if the Lions can manage to leave the stadium victory, it will go down as one of the biggest victories in Nedalian football history.

Posted by: Starblaydia Dec 6 2005, 07:08 AM

Starblaydia Out! We make the Quarters or the Final. Every bloomin' time! Do you know the last time Starblaydia lost an AOCAF match to a naton other than Hypocria? Well, for the hard of caring, it was AOCAF6. That's right, forty years ago, when Starblaydia were defeated by Vilita in the Final. Since then, in those twenty years, Starblaydia's B Team have lost, on average, once every ten years. And here it came to bite them in the backside once more in the shape of awful blue Hyypos. In the first of three Bettia-related Quarter-Finals for the sporting men, women and Dwarves of Starblaydia, the 'purple peril/men in mauve' fell to the now-dreaded penalty-shootout. Still missing Cisco Ibanez through disciplinary measures, but welcoming back Augusto Diaz, Starblaydia raced into an early lead thanks to Raul Diaz-Arca. Hypocria, as is their nature, fought back just before the half-time interval with a screamer from Ashley Marshall. For the next 75 minutes, however, neither side managed to score. So, with great forboding, Starblaydia entered that most-hated of deciders, the penalty shoot-out. Now we know why Starblaydia hate them so much, as it must be down the the fact we're so crap at them. Losing on penalties is no mean feat, but to only score two along the way is something tragic. Blame Ricardo Kindelan, Hyppo 'Keeper, if you like, but Starblaydia just didnt hit the back of the net. They did, however, managed to hit the back of the head of a steward watching the crowd for trouble. That's gotta count for something, surely? Starblaydia 1 - 1 Hypocria AET FT: 1-1, Hypocria win 3-2 on penalties (Diaz-Arca 7) - (Marshall 43)

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 6 2005, 09:58 AM

Stars slip past Lions in penalties Sukatra, Bettia (ASP) -- For a team to win a championship, they must have two qualities in abundance. One is skill, which the Sarzonian national football teams have as the senior national team has advanced to the quarterfinals of the World Cup for the fourth consecutive time. But another requirement for a championship team is luck, and the second choice nationals used the latter to escape a 2-2 draw with Nedalia that didn't produce a winner after 120 hotly-contested minutes of football. The Stars won the penalty kick shootout 4-2 with a goal by Brian Williams in the fifth round providing the clinching score that sent the Stars back to the semifinals for the first time since they lost the AOCAF V final to NEWI Cefn Druids. "That was a hard game," Coach Brett Hancock said. "Both teams gave it their all and did everything in their power to win the game. It's a shame that Nedalia have to go home. They're an outstanding team and they showed it once again." The Stars (3-4-0) face longtime regional heavies Vilita in a match for the right to advance to the finals against the winners of the Krytenia-Hypocria fixture. For Hancock, the Stars return to the final four of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football is a vindication of his hard lobbying for the job and for a roster of mostly new players. "They're hungry as hell to get in there and play for their country," Hancock said. "This is not a team that has any preconceived notions that they should win because they're Sarzonia. We only had one player [defender Ettore Salivani] who had even a single cap at any level and that was by design." Sarzonia may still not win the championship of the AOCAF tournament, a title that has eluded them in 10 tries. But if they end up holding the trophy aloft for the first time, they'll likely look back at this match as the defining moment of their run. "No question," Salivani said. "We needed penalties to beat Turori in the World Cup XXII quarterfinals. We also won 1-0 against Starblaydia and Bedistan there. There was a huge element of luck involved and we're going to need a lot more of that against the Jungle Cats." Indeed, Sarzonia have only defeated Vilita in one match, but it was in AOCAF IV, when the Stars played a second choice national side for the first time and had never defeated Vilita at any level. Since that tournament, the region has established itself as a sporting powerhouse where even a world championship winning side can get knocked out of its regional tournament early. Though the Stars will never say it, some observers say the team's return to the semifinals was enough vindication for Hancock's charges. "They've been knocked out in the group stage and the second round for the most part," Woodstock Daily Mail columnist Ryan Calvin said. "Stars supporters aren't stupid. They know the World Cup and AO are different animals. Getting back to the semifinals was the first goal. Winning the title would be icing on the cake."

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 6 2005, 01:07 PM

AOCAF XI Haven’t We Been Here Before? Hypocria 1 - 1 Starblaydia (aet) 3 - 2 (pens) We probably shouldn’t dwell on past glories but it is impossible not to draw comparisons between this fixture and the match eight years ago. Same stage, same score after extra time, same goal scorer and, most importantly, same result. Yes, once again Starblaydia’s quest to retain their AOCAF title came to an abrupt halt at the hands of Hypocria. The men in mauve wasted no time in trying to wipe out memories of the last encounter and Raul Diaz-Arca, who we think once scored the winner in an Under-21 fixture between the nations but are too lazy to find out for sure*, put the champions in front with just seven minutes on the clock. The tricky Corinthian Spirits forward twisted and turned past defenders, found some space in the box and slid the ball underneath Kindelan. But since the appointment of Dave Wilson as national coach the Hyppos have been made of sterner stuff and when the players eventually went in at the half time interval the scores were level. For details of that goal we will hand over to the totally unbiased commentary from HyperSports’ television coverage of the match. Jenas on the ball now. He finds Baxter. Can the captain find one of those trademark passes to unlock this defence? He spreads play to the left flank and Liberda. He drills the ball in low. Good clearance from Stefansson. It’ll drop for Marshall. He shapes to shoot. Oh what a hit! What a hit! The script was written, it had to happen. Ashley Marshall does it again. Twenty five yards out, full on the volley, and Maestas didn’t have a pray. Two minutes before halftime and the Hyppos are right back in this, it’s 1 - 1. With the scores level both sides shut up shop. The odd half chance went wide or was saved comfortably and neither keeper was troubled by the long ranged efforts that added to the shots total. The seconds finally ticked away and once again penalties would decide who would advance to the semi finals. The Hyppos have had mixed fortunes with penalties in the AOCAF. Obviously there was that win eight years ago but in the last tournament Hypocria were dumped out of the second round on spot kicks by Spruitland. There were misses from Burdali and Golla but Shirko, Baxter and substitute Powell all kept their nerve as a mixture of their penalties, Kindelan’s heroics and Starblaydi misfiring helped Hypocia into the last four for the second time in their three AOCAF tournaments. The other quarter finals were all really tight and nervy matches. Krytenia were the only victors in normal time with a narrow 1 - 0 win over Druida in the Bettian capital. The other three ties all went to extra time. The hosts' campaign finally came to an end at the hands of Vilita. After an entertaining 2 - 2 stalemate the Jungle Cats grabbed a winning goal in extra time to take the two time winners through. Over in Sukatra the Nedalia/Sarzonia quarter final also went to penalties after 120 minutes of football finished with the score level at 2 - 2. The Stars kept their nerve to advance 4 - 2 on penalties to face Vilita in the semis. Semi Final Preview Clearly, at the start of the competition, Group 3 was the place to be as all three of the teams that qualified from that group have made it to the last four. And Hypocria’s semi final match up with Krytenia is a repeat of the final group game. On that day the Jacks ran out 3 - 1 winners but at this stage, with a place in the final itself at stake, past performances count for very little. *Statistics provided by the office of Lord Rikaard Van Honjiik, Minister for Sport and Double-Posts Matchday 1, Group A: Under-21 World Cup 16 Starblaydia 3-2 Hypocria (G. Lopez, Diaz-Arca, Menecrates) - (Some Hypocrians)

Posted by: Krytenia Dec 6 2005, 01:13 PM

BETTER THAN STARBLAYDIA (for once!) Krytenia 1 (5) Vilita 1 (4) Krytenia 1 Druida 0 For once, Krytenia got the better of a side on penalties. Mainly because it wasn't Sarzonia. The match against Lamoni was as tough as expected, with no goals until the hour, when James Rusby put the Hawks in the lead. Evan Baxter's coolly-taken equaliser forced extra-time, and after a tense thirty extra minutes, the shoot-out. St. Clair's miss was the only one of the ten not to go in, clanging against the post, and the Jacks were off to play Druida. The Rainbows were a far simpler proposition, however it wasn't until the 75th minute of the game that Krytenia scored the only goal through sub Steve Korben. Next up is a rematch against Hypocria in the semi-final. Krytenia won 3-1 in a match that saw both teams qualify. Can they do it again?

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 7 2005, 09:28 AM

Stars let it rip, declaw Cats 4-2 Sukatra, Bettia (ASP) -- For the first time in six Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football tournaments, including one in which the Sarzonians did not send a team, the Sarzonian second choice national football team has advanced to play in the final. Ironically enough, the team wearing Sarzonia's navy and white will be facing the coach who built the first choice side into a world champion after defeating Vilita for only the second time in national team history, 4-2 in the semifinals of the 11th AOCAF tournament. Sarzonia's opponents in the final will be Hypocria, coached by former Stars boss Dave Wilson, making his first appearance in the AOCAF tournament with second choice teams doing most of Sarzonia's work. The Hyppos throttled Krytenia 3-0 to set up an all Group 3 consolation match while the Stars prepare to face the Hyppos in the finale. "We just wanted to focus on playing Sarzonian football and not on the other distractions out there," Coach Brett Hancock said. "That job is going to be a whole lot harder in the final, I'll admit freely. But we're going to have to saddle up and play Stars football if we're going to have a chance to win. Sarzonia improved its mark to 4-4-0 thanks in large part to forward Brian Williams, who has just agreed to terms on a deal with Partizan Drissa of the Hyper League. He scored three of the goals against the Jungle Cats and "ran roughshod" over their defence, according to defender Ettore Salivani. "That defence parted like the Red Sea," Salivani said. "The Jungle Cats looked pretty imposing on the films, especially in the back, but he made them look awful." For the Stars part, they gave Hancock something to harp on in training with two goals conceded in the final five minutes of the match, long after the competitive portion of the match ended with Sarzonia scoring all four goals in the first 30 minutes of the match. A random Vilita fan was heard to wonder aloud if Sarzonia had sent its first choice national teamers to play the Jungle Cats, but Barry Owens' charges were busy winning their World Cup quarterfinal against Tadjikistan in penalties, setting the stage for the Stars to keep their hopes alive for a regional and world championship double previously attained by the Jungle Cats. But first, the Stars will have to beat the man who was at the centre of building their programme. "I'm sure the tele ratings will be through the roof," Hancock said. "Dave Wilson was my idol from the moment I decided I wanted to coach. Sarzonians everywhere have been cheering the Hyppos on through the World Cup and the Cup of Harmony and have been doing so here." That will end for one match, but for reasons the Stars are happy about: They're playing for the right to hoist the AOCAF trophy. A win in the final would be the first for Sarzonia, which lost the AOCAF V final to NEWI Cefn Druids in their final footy hurrah. But most observers say that no matter what happens in AOCAF, the Stars will have every right to be pleased. Dave Wilson has brought his winning touch to Hypocria and Brett Hancock has resembled his idol at times in this tournament. "This is just icing on the cake," a team official said. "Winning AOCAF would be a wonderful achievement, but we've only been there once before. Hypocria was here just four years ago, and they're here with Dave Wilson leading the way. This has been a lot of fun."

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 8 2005, 01:43 PM

AOCAF XI Hit the Road Jacks Hypocria 3 - 0 Krytenia Kreska Liberda Jenas Football is a funny old game isn’t it? In the group stages of the competition the Jacks of Krytenia looked comfortable as they triumphed 3 - 1 over the Hyppos in Akani Sands but in Grappenhall the roles were reversed as Hypocria finished as easy winners. For 45 minutes the match had been close but in first half stoppage time the Hyppos won a corner and big defender Kreska duly headed in with practically the last action of the half. With the Jacks pushing forward in search of an equaliser in the second half Hyppos’ captain Marcus Baxter sprang the offside trap with a pinpoint pass and Liberda raced clear to double the lead. That goal meant that Krytenia were forced to chase the game even more vigorously which caused large gaps to open up in their back line. With precious minutes ticking away young midfielder Jenas found himself in such a gap on the edge of the box and his well placed shot effectively ended Krytenia’s final ambitions. Over in Sukatra the Jungle Cats of Vilita, tournament favourites after Starblaydia’s exit, crashed out after an entertaining 4 - 2 defeat at the hands of Sarzonia. The side from the Tropics wouldn’t go home totally empty handed however after a narrow 1 - 0 win over Krytenia in the third placed playoff. Final Preview Anyone before the tournament who predicted a Sarzonia/Hypocria final would have been laughed at, seriously, laughter at and pointed at. And maybe even stoned, or at the very least accused of being stoned. But twenty one teams have fallen at the various AOCAF hurdles and now just the Stars and Hyppos remain. Both teams have come close in the past. At both AOCAF III and IV Sarzonia finished in third place and were runners up at AOCAF V. More recently, at AOCAF IX to be exact, the Hyppos went all the way to the final only to be beaten by Vilita. And now the sides will meet in Gabalfa to put a new name on the AOCAF trophy. The nations have met a number of times in the past with Sarzonia easily having the better record. The Hyppos have just the one competitive victory to their name but that victory just happens to be in the AOCAF, a 2 - 0 win four years ago. Maybe it’s an omen. And in another of the many ironies that football has a habit of throwing up the man out to stop the Stars this time is the very man who turned them into world champions. That man is of course Dave Wilson who was appointed as Hypocria’s national coach when his contract with Sarzonia expired after the finals of World Cup 24. Although originally destined for retirement the prospect of one last challenge clearly appealed to the veteran coach. Wilson’s own thoughts on the upcoming match are unknown as since his appointment he has preferred to concentrate on the coaching, happy to let his subordinates handle the media side. One thing is certain, if he can mastermind a Hypocria win no one will ever doubt that Dave Wilson truly has the Midas touch. Being a football review show during a major tournament we are contractually obliged to end with one of those musical montage sequences, you know the ones, interspersed with commentary from Hypocria’s matches, looking back on the Hyppos’ path to the final. Now with Hypocria in the AOCAF final we felt Mad World was appropriate but it’s just so damned depressing. So, to the tune of Franz Ferdinand’s (the band not the former Archduke of Austria-Hungary) Take Me Out, we give you an inspiring montage . . .

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 8 2005, 02:05 PM

'Mixed Emotions' for Stars Supporters by Ryan Calvin Woodstock Daily Mail While our esteemed colleagues from Hypocria are playing the relatively recent Franz Ferdinand hit "Take Me Out" with a montage of their highlights, the old Rolling Stones classic "Mixed Emotions" might be a better fit for the Sarzonian second choice national team. As pleased as the fans are to have their team advance to the finals of the Atlantian Oceania Cup of Association Football for the second time in team history and the first time since AOCAF V, their excitement is muted somewhat by the team they're facing. Never mind the fact that Hypocria have become Sarzonia's unofficial sentimental second favourites, the reason the Hyppos are popular in Sarzonia has a direct connection: Former Stars boss Dave Wilson is coaching the Hyppos in his first go-around with the new side after a seven Cup tenure with the Stars. He's been pulling double duty in the Cup of Harmony and in surprisingly his first time coaching in the AOCAF tournament. Former Stars assistant coach Chris Trautwig is coaching the Hyppos entry in the Cup of Harmony whilst Wilson concentrates on the regional tournament. Now that decision has led him to a collision course with the programme he helped build into a perennial World Cup contender. "It's not going to be easy, I'll tell you that," Wilson said. "I'm fortunate that Barry Owens hasn't brought the first choicers over here to play, but Brett Hancock has done a fabulous job with the team we are facing." For their part, Stars supporters are mostly saying they're happy their team has advanced to the AOCAF final for the first time in six Cups and that Wilson has done well with his side. They say they'll be happy no matter who hoists the AOCAF trophy aloft after the match. "If we're going to lose to anyone, I won't mind it being a Dave Wilson-coached side," Laura Bridger, a history teacher at South Pavona High School in Saugerties said. "We're proud of our lads and seeing Dave Wilson win a title is always a good thing." However, the Stars players and Hancock don't want to hear anything about conceding a title just to see their former coach triumph. "We've advanced to the finals for a reason," Hancock said. "I love Dave Wilson to death and I'll probably ask for his autograph after the match, but for 90 minutes, I've got a job to do and that's to give my team a victory." "Anyone who says we should just be happy to be here doesn't deserve to wear this kit," defender Ettore Salivani said. "We're in the final and our goal should be to win the bloody thing. Anything else and we become the Buffalo Bills of AOCAF." Regardless of which team wins the AOCAF, the Sarzonian nationals have accompished more than they expected in the tournament that usually bedevils the Stars. But, typical of a Dave Wilson-coached side, these Stars will give it their all to make sure they're the team that finishes tops in the region. "We wish Hypocria the best of luck in the world," defender George Conway said. "It'll be 'best of friends until the game begins', but then it'll be '90 minutes of Hell'. When the game's over, we'll all probably go out for a few pints of Blue Fox Ale. But we're going to bust our bums to win that Cup first."

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 8 2005, 05:16 PM

AOCAF Fever Around the nation football fans are gearing up for tomorrow’s AOCAF final in Gabalfa between Hypocria and Sarzonia. The Ministry of Commerce have given up trying to estimated how much revenue the country will lose as millions suffer unfortunate “accidents” and call in sick so they can watch the game. The big screens in and around the Hyppodrome will show live coverage of the match in Bettia. Tickets for seats inside the stadium sold out within 90 minutes of going on sale and the Autokrator himself is expected to attend. “It’s going to be a great game”, said Gary Everyman from Rasium. “We’ve already beaten two teams ranked above the Stars so we’ve got a great chance.” Support for the national team has reached an all time high with signs of support springing up all over the country. A fact that has not been lost on assistant coach Gregory Vidal. “The level of support we’ve received has been phenomenal. Hopefully we’ll have the locals in Gabalfa behind us too, they could effectively turn it into a home game for us.”

Posted by: Sarzonia Dec 9 2005, 09:34 AM

Wilson adds to honours at Stars' expense Ninety minutes of football couldn't decide a winner between Dave Wilson and his new charges and the team he helped to build into a world contender. Thus, the match went to two 15 minutes of extra time after both sides scored goals. Brian Williams made a final impression on his future Hyper League employers at Partisan Drizza with a 29th minute tally, then the Hyppos equalised with team captain Marcus Baxter doing the honours. Baxter struck again with three minutes expired in stoppage time after the regular 30 minutes of added time ended without a goal. He headed the ball just over the outstretched arm of goalkeeper Marty Tolliver and the ball trickled past the goal line and into goal just seconds before the Bettian referee whistled the end of the match. Hypocria thus defeated Sarzonia 2-1 after extra time and the Hyppos surrounded their coach after he'd garnered them their first major honours. "That was incredibly tough to lose that way," Stars Coach Brett Hancock said. "We were doing everything in our power to win that match, but we just couldn't make the plays we needed to when we needed them. I tip my hat to the Hyppos. Dave Wilson's got them playing extremely well." "I'm so proud of my lads," Dave Wilson said, quickly adding, "on both sides. It's a shame someone had to lose this match, but I'm glad it wasn't my side." Following the match, the Stars supporters in attendance stayed behind while Hypocria were presented with the AOCAF trophy. The teams went to a Bettian restaurant after the ceremony and "drank themselves silly," according to former Stars captain Ettore Salivani. But the loudest applause of the night from the Stars supporters was reserved for the man who once led them to the sport's biggest prize: Dave Wilson. They gave him a thunderous standing ovation that clearly moved the veteran coach. "It was overwhelming," Wilson said. "Absolutely overwhelming. I'm proud of my guys, but I'm also proud of the guys I left behind. Stars football is going to be in good hands in the years to come and it's gratifying to know that they're still successful." "He's such a huge part of our success and I'm delighted to see him bring more success to the Hyppos," one fan said. "We'll get our turn with these lads, but it's gratifying to know that a Sarzonian can lead a team to a Cup trophy."

Posted by: Hypocria Dec 9 2005, 01:03 PM

AOCAF XI Nation in Shock as Hyppos Lift Trophy Hypocria 2 - 1 Sarzonia (aet) Baxter (2) It’s a concept that we’re struggling to get our head round too but it is official, Hypocria are the new AOCAF champions. The Hyppos emerged victorious after 120 minutes of football in front of a large and vocal crowd in Gabalfa’s Stadiwn Bettia. They had to come from a goal down after Brian Williams, soon to be seen terrorising Hyper League defences, put the Stars in front just short if the half hour mark. The lead didn’t last long as Marshall picked out Baxter’s late run into the box and the Hyppo’s captain side footed home the equaliser. From that moment on nothing could separate the sides as normal time came and went and the match headed, seemingly inevitably, for penalties. Fortunately for the nerves of all involved a shootout wouldn’t be needed. Baxter, who plays his club football down the road in Sukatra, made another late run into the penalty area and Jenas found him with a lofted ball into the box. Hypocria’s captain looped a header goalwards and the ball sailed narrowly wide of the keeper and into the back of the net. Seconds later the referee blew the final whistle and players and backroom staff flooded onto the pitch in celebration. Scenes of celebrations that were repeated all across the Autocracy as the nation celebrated winning it's first ever trophy. As the players went up to receive their medals and the AOCAF trophy the loudest cheer of the night greeted their coach. Dave Wilson was already a hero in Sarzonia after masterminding that World Cup win and now he’s every bit the hero in Hypocria too. But while fans were dancing on the streets back in Hypocrium there was no rest for the Hyppos veteran coach. After an expensive post-match meal with both sets of players and staff he was back in his hotel room packing ready for a flight in the morning, to take him back to Praying2God to take control of the Cup of Harmony squad. But you can bet he won't be travelling in economy.

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